Push, Nevada
The Amount

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Certified Public Actor

Oh! But there she is, right next to him at the bar, asking, "What's your name?" He offers that his name is Jim, and she responds that her name is Mary. She asks him what he's doing in town, because she's the only one who hasn't read the truck driver scene and if she had she would realize that this is the exact same scene. She asks him what else he intends to do while he's there, and he lets her know, "I haven't seen that much of the town, so I don't know what else it has to offer." Mary gleans something from this completely subtext-free comment and pouts slightly until Jim feels compelled to recant: "I didn't mean it that way." Eh? "I haven't seen that much of the town, so I don't know what else it has to offer." How else can you mean that? I thought he meant it in the way of "I haven't seen that much of the town, so I don't know what else it has to offer," myself. Jim and Mary continue what's known throughout the television acting community by the technical name of "not very convincing dialogue." Jim, I think, flirts, and I think he does it in kind of a stilted way: "Since I'm new in town, could you tell me a little bit about this place." She tells him, "It's called Slo-man's. It's a slow dance bar. People come here to dance and have conversation." I guess Jim won't know exactly what it is she's talking about until the fourth century rolls around and bars are invented. And I'm sorry: I know I've been doing an almost Eminem-ish amount of self-indulgently talking about myself, considering I'm ostensibly recapping a television program I didn't actually appear in, but…I've seen this show before. And this scene. And this place. It's Twin Peaks, this is One-Eyed Jacks, he's Dale Cooper, and sometimes her palms itch because she's Audrey Horne. I'm sorry if that lost any of you. But she's Audrey. But not even, really. She's older. With, it seems, more of an agenda. So she's "Taudrey." There you go. Let's try it out and see if it works: Taudrey tells Jim that one has to pay for a dance, and that one pays anywhere from $2 to $20, "depending on the dance. And the conversation."

But Jim's attention is briefly rerouted when he hears what can only be described as a "ruckus" coming from a nearby couch. Jim tells Taudrey that he's looking for a man named Silas Bodnick, and Taudrey lies about not knowing him even though that's exactly who is on the couch, causing the ruckus. Silas and Jim make eye contact for the first time across the room, and Taudrey continues, "If you're going to stay here in Push, Nevada, take your time. Take careful steps." He wants to know why she would say that. She responds, "Because there's a secret, Jim. And like all secrets, it's not quickly told." He stands up and offers her the corsage, asking, "So, can I have this dance?" Taudrey takes the flower and then turns him down, warning him, "You move too fast for me." And she walks out in slow motion, to illustrate that actual, kinetic human being speed is too fast for her or this show so far. The Money Man from the desert has been H&R Cockblocked on his first visit to Push.

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Push, Nevada

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