We're back in the woods, Pawn navigating perilously down the speed trap that is Exposition Boulevard, explaining to Jim in an unhappy deadpan, "I was part of a joint task force: ATF, DEA, LAPD, and Customs." Chin up, Pawn. I know Greek life can be hard when you've got the lesbian umpire stigma, but look at all the fancy letters you learned and the many different orders in which you can arrange them! She backstories endlessly about a drug bust in Long Beach, a sting that got bungled and they (the ATF, DEA, LAPD, and Customs) were only able to bring in one man. That man, however, provided Pawn (oh, excuse me Special Agent Pawn, which I guess just equals the not-inappropriate "Yawn") with a name of one ringleader in the smuggling operation. It's "Oswald Wilkes," who worked for "Dwight Sloman." Jim interrupts Pawn to fill in the "Name Of Boy Who Runs Whore Ring From Office Marked 'Private'" blank on the Mad Libs story "A Trip To Push!" all by himself, promising to finish the story's last sentence -- "For a [adjective] show lasting [number not to exceed ten] episodes, it's almost impossible that so much convoluted [caustic swear word] could spill forth like so much [color] bile from the [word meaning 'inebriated'] mind of [name of Ben Affleck]" -- sometime later on. Whitewashed shots of strange men in large trucks accompany Pawn's continued explanation that "Sloman uses the money to finance a variety of shady deals. Electronics, drugs, even San Fernando Valley real estate. He has his fingers in more pies than Marie Callender." For those of you not from the western third of the United States or one arbitrary location that apparently dropped from space and landed on Mexico City, Marie Callender is a retailer of pies and other assorted pastries, the San Fernando Valley is a series of inexpensive bedroom communities hiding in shame over a hill behind the Hollywood sign, television writers are incapable of conceptualizing a world outside of Los Angeles even though most of them "would rather be living in New York," and any expression that links "fingers" and "pies" should be officially outlawed by a governmental dictum, particularly when uttered by self-proclaimed lesbian umpires, even if I'm the "self" who is doing the "proclaiming." I think that clears things up. I also think we can leave these two alone for the rest of the scene, while they continue to seal the deal in which one scratches the other's backstory, and so forth. Really, c'mon. You won't be missing much. If you're looking for me, I'll be in the next scene, installing my IE 6.0 patch. I expect you would enjoy it.
Episode Report CardDjb: C+ | 493 USERS: C+
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