Okay, good Lord. Allegedly the Dumbasses That Be are cancelling this show, and it breaks my heart. ESPECIALLY, when they follow the cancellation announcement with an episode that features a lethargic Indian python named Bilbo. I mean, it is so obvious that whoever it is making this decision at ABC knows not what they do, that I can't even think of anything rude enough to say about it. I know times are tough and all, but we just elected a smart President, right? Ipso, facto: can't we have smart TV again, PLEASE? Ugh. Anyway.
Our intrepid investigators have a new case. A lover/lawyer of a rich old geezer hires Emerson to figure out who killed his client, Gustav. Emerson takes a special interest, especially when it is discovered that said geezer made his riches by inventing a mechanized yarn baller. The guy was allegedly killed when a robber broke into his house and shot down the chandelier, causing it to land on Gustav's head. When Ned gives him the touch, though, the victim is most concerned that they find his last will to prevent his stupid, greedy wife from getting his loot. He claims, before he gets the re-touch, that "the bellman" killed him.
The team finds the safe, but no will. Apparently there's been a rash of robberies in town at which the burglar leaves only a cryptic note, scrawled in Latin: "Orbis pro vox." Ah, this means "ring for right," which leads them to an organization called The Bellmen, basically a Salvation Army-type outfit that dresses up its charity ringers as Robin Hoods. They suspect these Bellmen, who seem to have solicited many of the richfolks who have been recently robbed and decide to set up a sting, using the aunts' place as their fake richfolk address. They even bring Chuck along, and let her hide in her old room. This was unfortunate, since the Head Bellman, Rob Wright, breaks into that room to rob it. Instead, he supplies her with the facts: yes, he robbed Gustav, but he says he did it because Gustav himself asked him to in order to keep Mrs. Gustav's hands off his cash. He says, though, that he didn't kill him, and the team once again turns on the moneygrubbing widow. However, all of this, like communism, is just a red herring: though it was ultimately an accident, Rob Wright did it.
Ned, meanwhile, has been super worried about Dwight's presence in Aunt Vivian's life, and how he's snooping around about Ned's own Disappearing Dad, and trying to get a hold of Chuck's dad's pocket watch -- it's all so complicated and confusing, and all of it is making Ned stress-bake. He employs Olive to use her detection-by-pie-delivery speciality to investigate Dwight's true motives. Lily is suspicious as well, and she's got her reasons. Dwight is creepy, y'all. Creepy like, seducing Vivian in the park with a clarinet, creepy. No, a real clarinet. Of course, this association leads to the realization of Ned's greatest fear: that Dwight's closeness to the aunts will result in him seeing a photo of the supposed-to-be-dead Chuck, whom he has seen alive with his own eyes. Yep, it happens. And to be extra creepy, he creepily delivers that picture to Olive, who is so terrified, she stress-eats all of Ned's stress-pies. Also stressed? Lily, who visits Chuck's grave, finds it newly turned over and suspects Dwight's evil handiwork. She goes in search of proof, breaking into Dwight's hotel room to find a multitude of guns, plus the pocket watch Dwight stole from Chuck. Of course, he thinks Chuck stole it back from him, and goes after her. Meanwhile, Olive tells Ned about Dwight's awareness of Chuck's... aliveness... and he must make the decision to do the unthinkable. They have to know what Dwight's really up to, he says, and the only way to do it is to "wake up" Chuck's dad.
However, under the guise of kindly burying Eugene's pets, Young Ned resolved to perform another act of charity: he brings them both back to life (resulting in the deaths of two nearby raccoons). As long as the benefits outweighed the costs, Jim Dale tells us, Young Ned believed an act of charity outweighed the consequences. Seeing Eugene's smile gleaming through his headgear at the return of his friends is proof enough for me.
Present Day Ned, despite all his early life lessons, is currently troubled by the potential consequences of bringing Chuck back to life. Thinking of the mysterious machinations of Dwight Dixon and how his snooping could uncover Chuck's secret, Ned stress-bakes back at the Pie Hole. "He's dating your aunt, he's going to see a picture of you," Ned rambles when Chuck comes in, "and if he doesn't have retro-grade amnesia, he's going to recognize you. That is, if he already hasn't." Ned marvels at the coincidence of this aunt-dating, not that Vivian isn't totally datable, he is quick to add.