Pushing Daisies

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Fat Man in a Little Coffin
Louis rambles on about how his life, because he shared it with his twin, is now tainted by Lawrence's badness. Chuck, feeling as she does that she and Lawrence traded lives, is moved. "I would love to get back what he took," Louis starts to say, but Emerson cuts him off, asking if the three of them can have a moment to pay their respects while Louis rustles up the hate mail to go. Once he's out the door, Ned and Chuck share a look, carefully planning their words, before Ned gets his touch on. Instantly, Lawrence Schatz is alive again. Ned makes his apology quick as the confused man lies in his coffin. Chuck takes center stage, causing Lawrence to become even more confused. "Lonely Tourist Charlotte Charles?" he asks. "Are you part of my welcoming committee?" Chuck says uh, no, she's more like a beneficiary, seeing as how she's alive and because of that, Lawrence is dead. "Am I a human sacrifice?!" Lawrence asks, sitting up in alarm. He is distracted by Emerson, whom he greets warmly, and from whom he does not receive a warm greeting in return. Abandoning pleasantries, Emerson asks what Lawrence did with all that stuff he stole. "Why don't you ask Louis what he did with it?" Lawrence snaps, suddenly angry. Emerson tells him that Louis said Lawrence buried the stuff. This is not the case, Lawrence says, suddenly freaking out and wondering who killed him. "Nobody killed you, per se," Ned tries to reassure him, but Chuck busts out the truth. Someone did kill him, she says, so that she could live. Ned nervously tries to explain the random proximity problem, but Emerson cuts to the chase. "So, Louis has all that stuff you stole?" he asks Lawrence. "WE stole," Larry shoots back. "It was a family business." In fact, he says, Louis has everything but the pocket watch resting right now on Lawrence's chest. Chuck gets nostalgic -- she had a watch just like that that her father had given her as a child, she says. "Yeah," Lawrence says. "You were buried with it." Or, well, he adds, they were going to bury her with it...but, uh, ha ha... "Caught me in the cookie jar," the undead guy snickers. Chuck gets pissed. "You stole that off my dead body?" she asks, her voice full of ice. Lawrence: "Your dead body wasn't doing anything with it."

In a rage, Chuck snatches the watch off the man and slams the lid of his coffin, causing him to scream in terror. Not, however, as loud as Emerson screams when they all realize that the coffin lid is stuck and the random proximity rule is about to kick in. "Aw, HELL no," he shouts, and he takes off out of the building, crossing himself all the way. Meanwhile, Chuck and Ned are frantically trying to break into the stuck coffin, banging it with urns. Finally, they succeed. "That was not cool you guys," Lawrence says, and boom, he is dead. Again. Ned collapses to the floor as Chuck begins to reminisce about her sweet aunts via her father's watch. She wants to see them so badly, she says, especially now that she's heard from Louis that they had a grief relapse. "You can't see your aunts," Ned says, deathly quiet, probably contemplating how he could have fallen in love with this dead chick who causes so many problems. "I'm sorry." The two of them drive down the road to pick up Emerson. "Anybody back there dead that shouldn't be?" Emerson asks, smoking a Schatz cigar. They assure him that no, there isn't. Emerson: "Sweet."

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Pushing Daisies

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