At the lighthouse, a rather put upon real estate salesman says that they shouldn't bother signing in because the open house is officially off. Emerson and Olive in raincoats want to know who he is. Willie Gherkin (and I'm not even going to touch that name... I just... ) who is from Smiley Realty. Olive: "You lost your smile, pickle." He just found out that he can't sell the land because it is a historical monument and he's bummed, because this isn't the way The Secret is supposed to work. He's so over-the-top effeminate. I love it. They want to know where Elliot is. Willie: "That little bowl-cut split. But not before I advanced him 10 grand against the sale." The plot thickens and the boob-obsessed, change-bearing teenage boy is looking more and more suspicious. Willie continues that it is because Merle and Elliot were heading out of town and needed quick cash, which may or may not be legal, but Willie should be forgiven because he's new at this. And he's got cookies. He thinks he's going to return to personal training, at least there he was respected. Emerson does some wild gesticulating and speculating, while Olive tries to follow along (complete with hand gestures), which given their size difference is so oddly hilarious that I can't even deal. Olive points out that the weather is terrible, so they must be in hiding. She wants to smoke them out. Emerson, despite being named after a fish, doesn't like working in the downpour. Olive doesn't understand his rain hatred since he isn't a cat and doesn't have hair. He reveals that it is because he got dumped. He used to curl up with his ex on rainy days with some hooch and tomato soup and rain days always bring him down because of this fact. Olive says they can hang out in the lighthouse, since she's always wanted to visit. Of course she has. She takes a jug and blows, which gives Emerson the heebie jeebies, but her a theory on where the McQuoddy's are hiding. The sea caves. Emerson threatens to give them the back of his hand if he finds them. He stands up, at which point Olive flings herself at him doing a strange chest bump and saying "Booyah!" and then takes off running. Hysterical.
Ned's at the Pie Hole slamming around some dough. Someone's stress baking again. Chuck comes in and says she's off to the store with a list from her father. Chuck: "Slippers. Mouthwash. The last 20 years of my life back. He's so funny." Yeah, hysterical. Ned isn't amused, because now that Charles Charles has returned, Ned and Chuck get no alone time. Ned is also very scared of her father. She's giddy because she never thought her dad would get a chance to torture her first boyfriend. I bet her first boyfriend never imagined this scenario either. She says they get to be the teenagers they never got to be, what with him at the Horrible School for Unloved Children and her living life with the agoraphobic Darling Mermaid Darlings and all. She tells Ned he's the studly quarterback and she's the flirty head cheerleader. Remember the role-playing that Lily said she did? I think her interest in it must have rubbed off on Chuck. Like mother, like daughter. She says they can sneak around and stay out late. She then crabs a piece of saran wrap, holds it up to Ned's face and gives him a big kiss. This is genuinely romantic, if you can get past the taste of plastic, but it freaks me out so bad that I'm having a hard time getting swept up in the moment. Her one hand is so dangerously close to his forehead and then as the kiss deepens she moves even closer to him, almost giving me a panic attack. After they separate Ned gives his goofy grin, and says he needs more convincing, which Chuck is happy to dispense. She'll see him later behind the bleachers, he tells her to bring her pom poms and he looks positively love struck as she takes off. That is until a newspaper (which has the lead story of "Council Plan Reaches $2 million," instead of reporting on Nora's death, like I would have guessed) moves out of the way of a customer revealing one Charles Charles.