Pushing Daisies

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Al Lowe: A | 1 USERS: F
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Water and Power

I'm really sorry y'all don't live in Georgia and are thus not graced by the endless commercials for the Georgia Lottery that clog and choke the TV and radio and billboards until you can almost think of nothing else. But Al, you say. It funds education. Yes, in G-A, we fund the education of rich kids by providing legalized gambling to the poor. Good luck, kids.

Emerson has dragged Chuck and Ned through a series of interviews with various angry farmers with grudges against Stingwell, and have now come to the last one at the end of their long day. Of course, Chuck and Ned consider it all futile, anyway, but Emerson is determined to prove Lila's innocence to be given a chance to see his kid. This last farmer, flower grower Michael Brunt, who had more than 200 acres of riverfront farm land before Stingwell stopped the river, is understandably ticked, but says he has been trying to make the best of it. He politely asks Chuck when her birthday is, and is surprised when she says December. "I would have bet you had an autumn birthday," he says, yammering about umber and amber and how they make her skin tone glow. Chuck yammers back that she actually has two birthdays, the second one being in autumn. "Your jibberish is sweet, honey," he says, and bestows on her an autumn bouquet. It's such a perfect line to use on Chuck, I'd like to see it on a t-shirt. Anyway, he says, if he had killed Stingwell, he would have done it years ago when his anger was fresh-cut. However, nothing ever changes, he adds -- whoever has the water, has the power.

Defeated, Emerson mopes back to the car. Ned and Chuck try to cheer him up by postulating that a bidder on the pipe job could have been the killer. Emerson says no, that one doesn't make sense. Chuck cringingly brings up the big-business polluter angle offered by the secretary. Emerson snarks at them not to humor him. He knows that theory is crackpot, he says, and that they have no suspects. As it's all they have left, he grudgingly decides to check it out as last-ditch effort. Thus, back at the Pie Hole they make the ultimate sacrifice, and meet with the attorneys representing the alleged chemical dumping company, the Fitz & Giggles Novelty Company. Heee! The lawyers nervously deny and then flusteringly confirm the allegations. Seems this is a firm of Mennonite lawyers, unable to lie. And, yes, F & G "inadvertently allowed" the dumping of chemicals into the reservoir, um, last Tuesday. "It was only the chemicals we use to make things glow in the dark," one lawyer says, "which are nearly identical to pure drinking water." Lawyer 2: "Pure drinking water with chemicals in it." Heee. I like these guys. "They're polluters," Ned says as they leave, "but they're no killers." Chuck says every road they've been down has been a dead end. "Except one road," Ned points out, meaning Lila, "but we can't go down that road." Emerson snarls: "No, we can't."

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Pushing Daisies

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