Back at My Best Friend in the employee locker rooms, Chuck finds Olive to tell her that Ned has just called, relaying the news that the elusive Downey is definitely in their midst. They concoct their plans to seek her out during their upcoming training courses. "I'll nose through my How to Flatter and Reassure the Profoundly Ugly Symposium," Olive says. Chuck nods. "And I've got a CD Mixes that Matter Lab in five minutes," she says, "so maybe someone there will know." They are interrupted by Barb, coming in to ask them for help with the crossword -- she's looking for a word that means kinship. "I'm afraid there's a Q involved," she says. Chuck has it in one: "Propinquity." Thrilled, Barb asks them both to help her with another one. "Oh," Olive says, looking at the paper, "four across is 'gelding.'" HA! Olive should know. But see, Barb doesn't do the acrosses, she says, she only does the... Chuck sees the light. Barb only does the downs! "You're Downey!" she says. Barb feebly tries to deny it, but then dramatically breaks down crying. Chuck tries to comfort her, but Barb asks for a tissue, gesturing to the box in the top of a locker. "I, uh, can't reach that," the tiny Olive says, and stands by as Chuck climbs up to the box. Ah, but turning their backs on Barb was not a good idea. With a lunge and a dry eye, she shoves them both into the locker, shots a "take that, bitches!" and runs out.
Foiled by Randy's innocence, Emerson moodily goes back to his office and is just about to enter when he spies someone creeping about within. "Crap," he mutters to himself before leaping into the room with a loud AHAAA! He struggles with his invader, chasing the masked perp around the room, beaning them with a coffee mug, before getting into a throat-clenching showdown with them at the door. Choked by the thief, he is somehow able to rip off the baddie's hood. It's... his mom. "OH, HAAAAYULL NO," he screeches, unable to breath. One day, I fully expect to get into this same scenario with my own mother. Do they sell ski masks at Chico's?