What is Calista doing sneaking around her own son's office? Well, the facts are these: the secretary responsible for sending out rejection letters from the publishing company to which Emerson had sent his book accidentally spit her liquid lunch (due to underbite surgery) all over his address. This was... unpleasant to behold. Anyway, when she tries to call directory assistance to get the address again, the operator is unable to distinguish that she is saying "E. Cod" and gives her the address of "C. Cod." In this way, Calista finds out that her son wrote L'il Gumshoe which she assumes to be a condemnation of her parenting. "And what's with the main character being a girl?!" she asks. "You sayin' I turned you gay?"
"I ain't gay!" Emerson responds, irritated. "And this ain't about you." Finally, he admits, the book is about his daughter. "Her mama ran off with her when she was a baby," he says. "And I been looking for her ever since. That's why I finally wrote L'il Gumshoe, to help her to have a way to find me." Calista is shocked and upset he never told her. "I didn't even tell my friends," Emerson says. "I'm not your friend!" Calista shoots back. "I'm your mother." Emerson, muttering: "Oh, now you my mama." Calista: "What's that, Mumbles?" Emerson says she only plays the Mama card when she wants him to feel guilty about something. "Well, since you switched back to MamaMode, I guess I can roll with that!" he yells. "So, tell me, Mama, what made you spy on your own son?" He's amazed at her cold shrewdness, to fake a case all so she could poke around in his personal life. The sad thing, he says, pulling the Kid Guilt so beautifully, is that he was going to tell her everything. "What kind of fool do you take me for?" Calista asks. Emerson says if she doesn't believe him, there's nothing else for them to say to each other, and surely Calista is about to smack him with his own book when Ned shows up, worried that Chuck and Olive haven't checked in yet.
Ah, that is because they are trapped in a locker. An unhappy, smelly locker. "It's like being trapped in a sachet in a panty drawer of a dead shut-in!" Olive whines. "Who was shut in her bedroom by her cats so they wouldn't have to smell the stench of freesia! Can't you smell it?!" Chuck says, yeah, she can smell it. "That'd be my freesia hair detangler that you said smells amazing yesterday," she says. Olive snaps: "Wish I hadn't, now." Chuck: "Wish I hadn't told you those capris made you look taller." Olive is appalled. "Liar!" she accuses, but Chuck says no, she's a truther "because I came clean unprompted, whereas you admitted to lying because you got caught." Olive rolls her eyes, remarking that once again Chuck is making herself the center of the universe, pulling us all into her gravitational force of blame. For Olive's information, Chuck says, there is no center of the universe, because it is forever expanding, so there. "Like your neediness," Olive snaps back. "'Wah, respect my feelings! Wah, don't fence me in! Wah, don't treat me like I'm dead!' Well, if you're so dead, how can you be so needy? Oh, that's right, you're selfish!" Chuck takes major issue with that, of course, having just shared with Olive everything she owns. "Big whoop!" Olive says. "Second-hand stuff." Chuck sees the light -- Olive is angry about the one thing she won't share: Ned. Olive is mortified, and correctly and cutely says that was a low blow. "What do you expect me to do? I'm in a no win situation, here," Chuck says. If she only had a nickel, she says, for every time they're all together and she unexpectedly catches Olive mooning over Ned... Poor Olive tries desperately to escape while Chuck goes on and on about how Olive looks all "oh, Ned, why can't you love me" and how she, thus, feels like a jerk for being in love with her own boyfriend. Olive can't help pointing out, again, that this boyfriend of hers is someone who she can (for reasons still unknown to Olive) never touch. Things are about to get violent when Emerson arrives to release them. Olive stomps off to "MY home" while the rest of the team goes to Buddy's office in search of more info on Downey. Unfortch, they find more than they bargained for. Downey's down, for good, squeezed to death by the hugging machine.