Ned gives her the touch and Barb comes back to life, gasping for air -- her lungs are collapsed. "Who knows CPR?" Ned cries, and when the only one who does is Barb, he grabs a basketball pump to reinflate her. Sometimes this show is really creepy. Anyway, Barb's facts are these: She had to lock Chuck away because she didn't want anyone to find out she dated Joe, lest she lose her precious job. She reveals to them that the night Joe died, he was moonlighting on a standing sports date with some tragic guy Joe was trying to teach how to play football. "Some guys just lack the jock gene," Downey says. "Buddy calls 'em Bleacher Leechers." Anyway, having given Chuck and Olive the shove, Barb came to the office to use the machine only to meet up with "the Spartan" who turned the machine to 11. She tried to fight back, and was only able to pull some fringe from his helmet. Ned gives her the final jab, and the team reflects. "There's no Spartan running around killing the popular kids," Emerson groans. "This ain't Thermopylae High." Ha! No, Chuck agrees, it's Spartanburg West, Buddy's old school for which there is paraphernalia all over the office. Ned has a sad hunch that maybe this Bleecher Leecher was none other than the admittedly abused Randy.