Unlike Vince, who's trying to leave for work and being held up by the only man on the planet who's more pathetic than he is. FV spots another "classic" Doctor Who tape, and says to Vince, "I'll come 'round and watch it sometime. Is that all right?" Vince, either having left his backbone hanging on the wardrobe door or still deluding himself that any sex will be had while there's Doctor Who memorabilia in the house, agrees. As he's leaving, FV says in a faux-menacing voice, "Beware the Mentiats [I have no idea if that's right, but there are no subtitles on the DVD, and -- as I stated previously -- I'm not trawling the web for Doctor fucking Who information. Add to that the fact that I, thank God, don't have a Vince in my life who could give me such information, and I think you should just pretend I got it right, and I'll pretend that you give a shit]." Vince laughs weakly and closes the door.
Stuart drops Alfred off at Romey's, and is greeted at the door by Lisa. "Vince not with you?" she queries. "Why should he be?" Stuart asks. "I was talking to Alfred," Lisa replies. HA! Okay, Lisa is definitely neck-and-neck with Donna as my favourite character, now. She then tells Stuart, "We've had a great afternoon. We've been entertaining another one of your babies," leading him into the front room, where Nathan is surrounded by the Lesbian Entourage, who are listening intently to his every word. Nathan tells Stuart that they were all just saying that perhaps Nathan should babysit Alfred at the weekends, "'Cos you're at work all week. You must be worn out -- at your age." Lisa smiles. "We like Nathan. Nathan can stay," she pronounces. Stuart looks at her like he's genuinely hurt, but despite my best efforts, I just don't weep tears of blood for him. In the kitchen, Stuart holds Alfred close to him, while Romey and Lisa tease him about the "Stuart Jones Foundation for Fallen Boys." And because nothing is ever his fault, Stuart tries once again to absolve himself of responsibility for Nathan. "Can I help it if he's obsessed?" he asks defensively. "Obsessed at fifteen? What's that make you? A Hornby train set? A Playstation?" Lisa taunts. Bwah! We like Lisa. Lisa can stay. A sweet-looking black man enters the room and says, "You must be Stuart. I've heard all about you, mate," his heavy accent making the attempted colloquialism very amusing. "I've heard nothing about you, mate," Stuart replies mockingly. Romey introduces him as Lance, someone she met at the university when they did an ethics seminar together, and who's moved into the spare room. "He's our token straight," Lisa jokes (I think). Lance looks at Alfred, sitting in Stuart's lap and still wearing his heavy winter coat and cute jester's hat, and comments that the baby must be very hot. "Do you mind?" Lance asks Stuart, picking Alfred up and taking off his jacket. "Moved in since when?" Stuart demands to know. "Last week," Lance tells him, explaining that it's not for long, because his visa is up in five months and he couldn't get a flat on a five-month lease, so Romey helped him out. "I'm another one of her lost causes," he says with a giggle. "Christ, you can't turn your back on this house," Stuart says with irritation. "And yet you still do," Lisa retorts with a smirk. I wish she and Stuart would just admit they're in love with each other, already.