Across town, Marie is practically begging Stuart to babysit for her that night. She says that, since the boys' father walked out on the family, she thinks it would be good for them to have Stuart around a bit more. She also has her first date since the split, and Stuart asks her what the guy's name is. Marie tells him he's called Malcolm, and Stuart snorts with derision. Marie says that he's just some guy from work, and that he's a bit of an "eejit." I rewound this scene about seven times, out of sheer disbelief that anyone outside an episode of Father Ted actually pronounces "idiot" like that. Mr. della femina confirmed that it certainly sounded to him like she said "eejit." "Watch out for Michael Flatley and the Riverdance troupe," he warned me. I informed him that this show does have its camp moments, but that would be taking it a bit far. (SPOILER WARNING -- Michael Flatley never does make an appearance. You can breathe, now.) In any case, Marie is less than enthusiastic about this Malcolm guy, but as she says, the fact that he even asked her out is "good enough for [her]." She asks Stuart if he ever goes out on any proper dates, like out to dinner. "I did once. I shagged the waiter," he confesses. Shocker. Stuart finally agrees to babysit, despite the fact that he's up to his eyes in work at the moment. What an altruistic streak he has, that Stuart.
The first we see of Vince this episode, he's working at the supermarket, but has taken a break to get some shopping in for Hazel, who's on his cell phone advising him of what to bring back, while Vince tells her what all is on special that week. Hazel asks him to get a box of Weetabix, and Vince replies, "I thought twenty Benson [& Hedges] were your breakfast." Hazel says that the Weetabix isn't for her, it's for Nathan. "I'm not shopping for him!" Vince cries defiantly, wondering if she wants her to bring home some instant pudding and diapers for him, too. "Get me a big box of Surf," Hazel tells him. "I've got double the laundry. It's all bed sheets; I'd forgotten how much teenaged boys masturbate." Vince is totally grossed out. "Stiff as a board," remarks Hazel, only making things worse. Bernard, who's sitting at the kitchen table, assembling Christmas crackers, jokingly tells Hazel, "Don't wash them, I'll have them." Hazel tells Vince what Bernard said, and Vince replies, "It's like an 0898  number!" He says to Hazel that he'll bring the shopping over later that afternoon, and that they're going to have a talk about Nathan. It's been two weeks since Nathan moved in and it's time he left, Vince says, hanging up the phone. He turns around abruptly, almost walking smack into Cameron. Vince, completely oblivious, excuses himself and gives the basket of groceries to a co-worker to stash under staff discount. "If you're busy, I'll just go," Cameron says, getting Vince's attention. Vince looks truly surprised, and reintroduces himself -- a bit unnecessarily -- to Cameron, remarking what a coincidence it is, them running into each other in the store. Yes, I think it's safe to say that Vince rode the little bus to school when he was a kid. Anyway, Cameron tells him that it's not really a coincidence, because Phil told him that Vince worked there, and he came by to ask Vince if he'd like to go to dinner. Vince tries to beg off, saying he has to work. Cameron tells him there's no pressure, gives him his business card and says, "Call me." Vince looks absolutely terrified.