At Phil's mother's house, after the funeral, Alexander is telling an assembled audience that he was with Phil on the night he died. "Not with him, with him," he clarifies, then worries that if he had been with Phil, he too would be dead. "I have to say, I think I'd get more of a crowd," he says as he minces off. Stuart and Vince are in another room eating crudités when they're approached by a clean-cut, older (than them) man who speaks with a slight Australian accent and introduces himself as Cameron, Phil's accountant. He tells them that Phil spoke of them all the time, and Vince responds that they were just pub friends, and only went out drinking together. "What do you do with your real friends?" Cameron asks. "Go out drinking," answers Stuart, en route to a tête-à-tête with the cute boy from the church, whom he's just spotted across the room. Cameron watches Stuart walk away, then says to Vince that Phil used to go on and on about Vince. "I'm Vince," he informs Cameron. "Oh. It's just that Phil said -- everybody said -- that Stuart was the better looking one." Vince looks taken aback, and I wonder what kind of planning it takes to come up with a line as obviously rehearsed at that one.
At school, Christian Hobbs is sweeping the locker room floor when Nathan appears in the doorway and offers to "give [him] a hand." Foreshadowing has apparently cashed in all the air miles it earned jetting between the New York and L.A. productions of every American television show on the air, and has chosen to use them on a trip to Manchester. Why, I do not know.
Phil's mother is telling his friends that she'll be going back to his house to sort through Phil's things, eventually putting the house on the market. Stuart's cell phone rings and he -- for once -- is courteous enough to turn it off. Hazel looks at him approvingly, her smile disappearing when Mrs. Delaney says to her that she, too, must have said goodbye to many dreams she had for her son when he told her he was gay. "No weddings, no grandchildren," she laments, adding that she still never planned her own son's funeral. Hazel -- and everybody else -- looks very uncomfortable. But Stuart, not one to wallow in his overwhelming grief, is immediately on the phone to Sandra, dictating the copy for an ad. Let's just say that it has something to do with not planning your own child's funeral. Sandra dutifully types the copy up in Word as Stuart pulls a set of keys from a bowl on the table in the hallway. Finally twigging that he is, indeed, at a funeral, Sandra calls him a bastard and slams the phone down. Stuart crumples into a little ball and sobs. Which part of that do you think I made up? Anyway, Vince goes into the kitchen and tries to reassure Mrs. Delaney that Phil wasn't a drug user, and that the night he died was a complete one-off. She tells him that she "know[s] [her] own son," and asks him if she saw who Phil was with that night. Vince says that there was a big group of them, and that he really couldn't say. Mrs. Delaney wonders aloud if Phil would have suffered the same fate if he'd been with a woman, and Vince says that it has nothing to do with being gay. Mrs. Delaney asks him if he thinks Phil would have found himself at thirty-five, taking heroin with a "casual fuck" if he had been straight. "He could do," Vince answers, rather unconvincingly. "What would I know?" Mrs. Delaney asks, thanking Vince and leaving the room, saying that she has people to see. Vince looks absolutely shattered.