Which he is, at dinner with Vince, Dane, Alexander and Phil. They're talking about trajectory physics. Actually, they're talking about how to make one's ejaculate shoot over one's shoulder, but this is a family website, so I thought I'd clean the conversation up a bit. Vince, wrecking my plans, then tells the group that he read in Attitude that you can make your penis larger by losing weight. "For every thirty pounds you lose, you gain an inch." At that moment, the waiter asks them if anyone would care for dessert. With unison normally only seen in the context of a Moonie wedding ceremony (TM John Kusch), they all answer resoundingly in the negative. Walking out of the restaurant, Alexander says, "I snogged a woman once. It was like kissing the Body Shop." Vince, meanwhile, is telling Phil how bad he feels that Alexander came home with a boyfriend, because he really wanted to set the two of them up. Phil enquires about Dane, but then says that Dane's all fit and skinny, while he's "eating for two." Phil isn't skinny, but he's by no means huge. I don't even think he's as fat as Matthew Perry's gotten in the past several months, but whatever. Phil asks Vince if he would shag Stuart, and (predictably) Vince says he absolutely would not, because they'd never be able to look each other in the eye ever again. "Oh, and this way," Phil observes, "you get to look at him all the time."
Nathan and Donna have arrived on the scene, in another cab on Stuart's account, and Nathan tells her not to look if she sees guys kissing, not to look if she sees guys dressed up like women, and not to look if she sees Stuart. Nathan apparently doesn't know that he's only the boss of the applesauce. Inside the smallish club, Stuart and his friends are ogling a young man standing at the bar in a sweaty undershirt and too much gel in his hair. "I'd stick me head up his arse and wear him like a hat," Alexander quips. We're then provided with a momentary subtitle as Lee comments, "I'd give him one," in Japanese. Stuart, ever-confident, says, "Right, that's my night sorted. What are you lot gonna do?" And you know that he's going to get his way, don't you?
Vince's mother, Hazel, is at the club with Bernard and has been spotted by Nathan just as Donna is telling him that Stuart is short and not that good-looking, and that she thinks he can do much better.