Vince, watching porn and sulking -- something we're quite sure is a time-honoured tradition in his home -- is talking to Stuart's answering machine, moaning about how men are bastards and he had thought that Jonathan could be "the One." Um, yah. While Vince complains and just generally gets on everyone's nerves, Stuart and his two gentleman friends are draped across each other, naked as the day they were born, as they watch the footage of their threesome. "Anyway, I bet you're having a good time," Vince says into Stuart's answerphone before turning over and going to sleep. Quite right, and a risky bet that was, Vince.
At Phil's, Dodgy Harvey is setting up lines of white powder on the coffee table (glass, of course), and has Phil snort one. Phil's obviously not a seasoned drug-taker, which would have been apparent even if he hadn't gotten up and almost fallen over about three times on his way to the kitchen. As he tries to get a glass of water, Phil is sweating profusely and cannot even hold himself up against the kitchen counter. Harvey laughs and reassures him that it's only a reaction to his first time, but Phil quickly collapses on the floor and flops around like Charlie Tuna, while Harvey shouts, "What the fuck are you doing?" at him. Uh, I think it's called buying the farm. Phil's body eventually goes very still, and he's not blinking so you know he's dead. Harvey grabs his jean jacket and moves to leave, then thinks again and empties Phil's wallet of all its cash before he goes. What a prince.
The next day, Stuart and Vince are having a meal with Alexander and Dane, whose arm is sporting a stylish sling. Alexander is relating the whole sordid tale of his night with the undertaker and gasps, "I swear, a cock like a baby's arm! He sprained his wrist," he says, gesturing toward Dane, "I sprained me arse!" As his friends laugh, we see Phil still lying on his kitchen floor, daylight streaming in through the curtains. A few days later, Vince's cell phone rings. Seeing Phil's number on the display, he turns from his friends and answers, "Phillip Delaney, where the fuck have you been?" in a playful manner. "Is that Vince?" asks a female voice. We see an older woman sitting in Phil's front room while a female police officer goes through the kitchen. Vince is confused, and the woman tells him that she's Phil's mother. He asks her if something's wrong, and she says the police told her "it happened days ago." Vince goes very pale as he absorbs what she's telling him, and Stuart picks a very inappropriate moment to saunter up to him and plant a big, wet kiss on his cheek. Over and out (no pun intended).