Stuart does take time out from kissing Nathan to ring Vince, who was just beginning to get down to business with the beefy stalker man. Now it's Vince's turn to ask loads of questions ("When?" Who was there?"), and when the beefy stalker man continues disrobing -- revealing a very fat, hairy gut -- his jaw drops. "OH. MY. GOD. OH. MY. GOD." The beefy stalker man proceeds to pick lint from his bellybutton. Yum. At this point, is anyone who's watching not craving cotton candy?
Vince, having fobbed off the beefy stalker man with the excuse that his friend's mother is seriously ill, drives to the hospital, where Stuart and Nathan arrive together in a cab. They rush down corridors and into a room full of women, who are crowded around a mother holding her newborn. Stuart rushes to her, taking the baby in his arms. It becomes apparent that he is the father of this child, and when the friends of the mother -- Romey -- chime in that they think Frederick would be a good name for the baby, Stuart tells them that it's not ironic enough, and decides that Alfred will be the baby's name. Romey wonders aloud if Stuart is going to introduce the blonde boy to everyone, and Stuart asks him, "What's your name, again?" One of Romey's friends, Lisa, answers, "Nathan," obviously annoyed that Stuart can't even remember the name of his young playmate.
Stuart: Oh, yes, Lisa was on the phone when Nathan shot his load all over me.
Lisa [gesturing to Romey, looking at Stuart]: So you've both had a child tonight, then.
Stuart makes some statement about how the call from Lisa was the most important phone call of his life, and Nathan was there when it happened. "He was there," he repeats. Then he looks at the child in his arms, looks at its mother and asks in an "Oh shit, I'm a gay man who's just fathered a baby for my lesbian friends and now I have to work every day for the rest of my life to keep him in Pokémon cards and Gap khakis" tone of voice, "Romey, what the fuck have we done?"
We then get a shot of Nathan, struggling with an armload of snacks he's just retrieved from the hospital vending machines, as well as dropping one of the two cups of tea he's procured (he's gripping the other Styrofoam cup with his teeth). After he distributes refreshments to everyone, Stuart orders him to go get some flowers for Romey and the baby, and he obediently begins to search the hospital for a suitable bouquet, eventually stealing one from an elderly gentleman who catches him red-handed; Nathan simply takes off down the corridor, running past doctors and orderlies. Okay, he's known Stuart less than three hours, and already he's doing his dirty work -- including theft -- for him? Nathan, Whitney Houston called; she wants her "subservient partner who'll break the law for her man" shtick back; she has a Clive Davis tribute in Vegas next weekend and hears that international mail can take a while.