As Vince makes his way towards Cameron, Dazz looks the wrinkled Aussie up and down and asks Hazel what he does for a living. "He's an accountant," Hazel tells him, sounding quite proud. "I always said the Tylers would marry into money one day." Dazz and Nathan are snorting derisively at the idea of going out with an accountant. "He's nice!" Donna says in Cameron's defense (but I'll let her off the hook). "Nice! Imagine shagging someone 'nice'!" Dazz guffaws. "He's not a real boyfriend," Nathan says. "You know Vince just shuts his eyes and thinks of Stuart!" Okay, seriously? That made me laugh. But Nathan still bears the label of "Slapnuts Extraordinaire" in my notes, so one joke changes nothing. After Nathan and Dazz go off to dance, Hazel ladles piss from a big plastic bucket into their cocktails. You don't want to know why she has a bucket full of piss; it's Bernard's, and Bernard's wee definitely falls into the "Ew, nasty!" no-go area of these recaps. All you need to know is that she pours urine into Nathan and Dazz's drinks, and they drink them. Has anyone told Chuck Berry about this show?
As Lance and Romey pose for photos with the gaggle o' lesbians, Stuart, and Vince, Lisa tells Stuart that a date's been set for the wedding. "Blimey, another party. I've never been so busy," Vince jokes. "Thing is," Romey says awkwardly, "we're keeping it small...it's sort of private." Lisa pulls no punches: "You're not invited." With the roll of film finished, the group breaks up and Lance tells it like it is: "I mean, no offense, but if you lot come to the registry office and someone from the Home Office turns up, it's all going to look a bit gay, isn't it? Last thing we need." He turns to the lesbian in charge of photography and tells her to load another roll of film while he and Romey change clothes for more pictures. After Romey and Lance wander off, Lisa turns her attention to Stuart. "Lance was looking at [Alfred's] birth certificate this morning. Nice blank space where the father's name goes. That makes adoption so much easier," she says pointedly, with no lack of amusement. "Didn't you put your name down?" Vince asks Stuart incredulously. "He didn't want to," Lisa answers on his behalf, as Stuart looks peeved. "Too much responsibility. Like you said, Stuart, no harm in leaving it blank -- what could possibly go wrong?" she asks, twisting the knife. "Fuck you," Stuart retorts. "Ooh, nice comeback," Lisa laughs. Is it just me, or does it seem like it's just too easy for Lisa to smack down Stuart these days? Anyway. Sandra calls out to Vince that there's someone at the door for him, that someone being Janice. He tells her to come in and have a drink, but she insists that she's just dropping off his present, as she knows Nathan won't want her around. Handing Vince the gift, she tells him it's a token of thanks for looking after Nathan. "Not long till his birthday," Janice muses. "Sixteen, he'll be able to live anywhere. How'm I going to find him then?" she frets. Uh, follow the stench of smartass, Janice.