The once and future home of Emmett and Mike. I'm telling you, he'll be back. So, Emmett and Heather are cross-legged on the couch, facing each other, while Roberta Flack and Peabo Bryson croon, "Tonight I Celebrate My Love." Go get your cups and buckle up, people. This is going to hurt. They screw their eyes closed and move in for a kiss; Emmett misses by a mile, and Heather has to guide him back to her mouth. Y'all strapped in? I'm not going to ask again. Heather asks whether he felt anything. Emmett confesses to a numb, tingling sensation...from his foot, which fell asleep. Emmett asks whether she felt anything, and Heather half-smiles, "A queasiness in my stomach? Like when you eat a bad clam." I -- you know, I just -- oh, never mind. Emmett looks particularly downcast at that review. Heather sighs that they don't have to go through with it, but Emmett's determined to get his "success story." Heather clenches her fists in the air, and says, yay, she wants one, too! Emmett suggests that they fantasize: "You think about the perfect man, and I'll think about the perfect woman." Heather nods, "It's a crutch, but if it helps us walk..." Good point. In that spirit, I'll keep recapping and think about The West Wing. As Emmett and Heather move in again, Emmett fantasizes that a beautiful naked woman is standing in the doorway behind Heather's head. Heather fantasizes that a gorgeous naked man is standing in the doorway behind Emmett's head. And we're talking totally naked. I wonder whether Bartlet's going to run again or not? I mean, Abby's dead set against it, what with him having MS and all, but still. Gonna be kind of hard to come up with a third season if Jed's sitting in a cabin up in Nashua somewhere. The fantasizing sort of seems to be working. Emmett and Heather pull away from each other. Emmett asks how that was, and Heather tells him to keep trying. They kiss again, and this time, Heather fantasizes that the beautiful woman (it's the same beautiful woman; I guess the budget for extras is limited this week) is behind Emmett's head. And then the beautiful woman is in front of her, where Emmett used to be, and they lean in for a kiss. On Emmett's end, Heather's been replaced by the gorgeous man. So, what I'm thinking is, Josh and Donna? Not so much. I mean, I get that they're attracted to each other, but a crush isn't day-to-day life, you know? I can't imagine how they could do that gracefully, either. Sorkin is a master, so maybe I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Nah. It's still a bad idea. Speaking of which, the camera keeps cutting back between Emmett kissing his fantasy, and Heather kissing hers, and finally to the two of them kissing enthusiastically, with their fantasies standing in doorways behind them, bathed in red light. Between kisses, Emmett asks Heather how it's going, and she laughs, "I'm starting to feel something." Emmett says that he does, too, and they attack each other on the couch, and then attack their fantasies on the couch, and Sam Seaborn is just the cutest, isn't he? He and I are both from L.A., too. But he really does need to go back to the old haircut. He's starting to look like a muppet.
Queer as Folk U.S.
Episode Report CardCamper: A | 424 USERS: C+
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Queer as Folk U.S.