TLFKAM snorts, "Let me get this straight: you fuck up my life, you destroy my relationship, and now you have the breathtaking gall to ask me to represent you?" Just as long as we're all taking responsibility for our own actions, here. Clarification: Lindsay let Brian have his way; you fucked around on her. Took two to tango out of that gig, baby, and neither was Brian. Brian shrugs and says, yeah, that's totally what he expects: "And I'll pay, too." TLFKAM tells him to keep his money, because he's going to need it. Okay, if she's not planning to listen to him, then why is she having lunch with him? And, good grief, how did he convince her to have lunch with him in the first place? Brian -- knowing just where all the soft spots are -- drawls, "Fine. Homophobic Corporate America wins again." TLFKAM snaps, "Oh, please! You could hang a sign on your door that says, 'Blow Jobs -- Ten Cents,' and you'd still have it better than any woman or person of color because you're a white man. Which still counts for something in this country." Brian looks skeptical. He shouldn't. TLFKAM asks Brian for his version of the story. Brian shrugs, "He wanted it. I gave it him." TLFKAM chuckles, "Just how I wanted it: short but sweet." Brian frowns, "It wasn't that short." Get over yourself, there, cupcake. TLFKAM asks where it happened; Brian tells her they went at it once in his office, and again in his loft. TLFKAM nods, "So, he couldn't have minded too much if he came back for more." Brian tells her that Kip asked for Brian's help in getting a promotion, and Brian told Kip that he wasn't ready for the position. TLFKAM asks how Kip took it, and Brian raises an eyebrow: "How do you think? He felt, because we're both gay, and we'd fucked, that somehow he was entitled to a free ride. I didn't agree." TLFKAM asks Brian how many tricks he has a month; Brian says that it's somewhere between twenty and thirty, which means, dude, he's not even taking the Sabbath off most of the time. TLFKAM shakes her head: "Jesus, what a life." Brian hotly asks what that has to do with anything, anyway, and TLFKAM replies, "Well, for once the fact that you screw anything that moves is your finest quality and your best defense. You didn't have to abuse your position at work in order to get laid." Brian grins, "The Fuck Defense?" The Mad Lawyering Skillz emerge at last. TLFKAM nods, "We've got to prove that when this kid didn't get what he wanted, he decided to get even." Brian knows that he's got her, but asks whether she'll take the case. TLFKAM thinks about it, and smiles, "Look, not that I give a shit about saving your ass, but it might be amusing to have you indebted to me for the rest of your life."