Later that night, Ted and TLFKAM have just finished seeing a movie. As they walk out of the theater, TLFKAM's crying and wiping her eyes with a tissue, and Ted sighs, "You know, I never realized, until seeing it with you, that A Night at the Opera was such a tragic movie." TLFKAM apologizes; it's just that last Halloween, she and Lindsay dressed up as Groucho and Harpo. TLFKAM sniffles, "Oh, God, no offense, but I just wish she was here." Too bad you couldn't keep your hands off the Sapphic Slut, huh? Ted -- never one to miss an opportunity to put himself down -- nods, "I understand. Most of my dates wish they were with someone else." TLFKAM tells him that he's a catch, giving Ted yet another opening: "Just my luck that lesbians find me irresistible." TLFKAM laughs through her tears and gives him a big hug. Very sweet. You're still not getting your name back, so don't even think about it. Over TLFKAM's shoulder, Ted sees Emmett, arm in arm with Heather. Emmett looks like someone killed his dog, and he hasn't even seen Ted yet. Ted swears, and TLFKAM laughs, "What, I got you all excited?" Ted whips her around so that she can see the happy pair. TLFKAM gasps, "I don't believe it!" Emmett looks genuinely pleased to see Ted, but once he recognizes TLFKAM, he starts to shift uncomfortably, shooting glances between her and Heather. He introduces Heather as his date. TLFKAM laughs, but Ted tells her that Emmett's serious. Heather says that she and Emmett are going for pizza, and asks the other two, "Do you wanna double?" TLFKAM's like, 'double'?! Emmett tells Heather that Ted and TLFKAM aren't really a couple. Ted clarifies, "I'm a homo." And TLFKAM adds, "And I'm a lesbo!" Heather replies, "Oh. I thought, from the hug, that you were normal." Yeah, that'll endear you to them. TLFKAM snaps, "We are." And then, to Emmett: "What the hell has gotten into you?!" Trust TLFKAM to get straight to the point, no matter what. Ted sing-songs, "He's seen the light." TLFKAM snarls, "Where are they shining it, up your ass?!" Couldn't have said it better myself. Emmett pouts. Heather jumps in, "See the Light is helping us lead healthy heterosexual lives." TLFKAM snorts, "Yeah, well, while you're at it, why don't you ask the Wizard for a brain." Ha! Emmett snaps that he's glad TLFKAM finds them so amusing. TLFKAM replies, "Who's amused? I'm outraged." Emmett tells Heather to ignore TLFKAM; she just doesn't understand. Oh, but TLFKAM's got it down, all right: "I understand you assholes are setting back the Gay Rights Movement about fifty years!" And that's not even the least of it. Heather tugs at Emmett's arm and says they should go: "I don't think I care for your friends." Emmett sadly follows her. Ted calls after him, asking whether they're ever going to see each other again. Emmett hands Ted a pamphlet and tells him he can always come to a meeting.
Queer as Folk U.S.
Episode Report CardCamper: A | 424 USERS: C+
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Queer as Folk U.S.