Ted calls up Emmett, pissed that the Viagra isn't working yet when he's got his Thor date pretty soon. Wouldn't he want it to start working after Thor got there? Emmett says there are no "hard" or "firm" rules when it comes to Viagra. Dick Jokes #2 & #3, respectively. Ted gets another call, and the split-screen shatters into three boxes. It's Thor, canceling on Ted. He's a very Bad Canadian Actor and tries to pretend that there's a dog just off-camera puking. It's about as realistic as the locker joke scenes on You Can't Do That On Television. Thor hangs up. Ted tells Emmett that Thor's not coming over. Immediately, Ted gets hard. Emmett celebrates until he realizes that Ted's reason for getting hard isn't on his way anymore. He tells Ted that everyone's seen him in action, so he's sure Ted'll know how to fix his little problem. Emmett hangs up and dunks himself into the tub as Ted frets about his dick.

Brian's mom kicks back a dainty stiff one as Brian fiddles with an ancient radio. He comments that it's a little early for her to be drinking. She says she needs something to calm her nerves. She asks when was the last time she saw Brian. "Christmas," Brian tells her. He brought her flowers. The same bouquet he brought her today. She says they'd better get going so they're not late to church. Brian's mom says that Brian's sister Claire said Brian would take her. Brian says he never agreed to take his mom to church. Did Brian turn on a hip-hop station? Where is that rap music coming from? It totally doesn't fit the scene. Brian curses, and his mother scolds him for it. Brian shoves the flowers (still wrapped) into a vase without water and pouts. He asks why his mother isn't attending the eight o'clock service anymore. She says she prefers the noon now because it's more "traditional." She starts going on about how "wonderful" the new minister is. The rap music continues as Brian's mom sips another drink. She asks if Brian's coming. "Hell, no," Brian answers. Brian's mom finishes her drink and announces she'll go by herself. Her drunk ass weaves right into a chair, causing Brian to crack up. He tells her that she can't go anywhere like that. "Darling, I've managed quite well on my own," she says. She walks into the darkness telling Brian that she doesn't need him. The rap music takes over...