Queer as Folk U.S.
Accentuate The Positive

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Holy Moly!

Previously: Mikey couldn't stop thinking about Ben. Emmett got a secret admirer. Debbie told her son to try Ida the matchmaker if he's really serious about finding someone special. Justin fucked a kid at a kegger. They kissed, abandoning Justin's own rule. Emmett's secret admirer thought Emmett was a hustler. Brian could taste the virgin sweat on Justin's lips. Mikey thought that Ida had set him up with Ben, but it turned out Ben had moved on to greener pastures -- ones that don't wear as many plaid button-downs, it seems. Good for you, Ben.

We open with some serious ass ramming. The blue light makes it hard (huh-huh) to see exactly what we're looking at, but it appears that Brian is fucking a guy. The guy is on his hands and knees, gasping at us. I wish they'd do these shots in red; it's much hotter with a red light on. Makes the veins disappear on the flesh. That's a little tip from me to you, kids. Get yourselves a red lightbulb. You'll look fucking hot. Why is it so quiet in these places where Brian fucks random men? You'd think you'd hear other people fucking. But it's like a cave in there. You can see other people. Just can't hear them. Brian looks up and leans over to his right. Justin leans in. They kiss. Justin's got his own dick toy as he and Brian make out. They break away and lean back to ride in unison, looking like two kids riding horsies. Pan down to the two guys getting fucked. One wears a cross around his neck. As he reaches orgasm, the cross twinkles in the blue light, reminding all of us that we're going to hell because of Showtime.

Spectacle. Dazzle! I love it when Babylon's covered in confetti. Lots of feathers and boas and jungle prints. Eyelids that make Alicia Keys wince. Emmett, Ted, and Michael stand on the catwalk, overlooking the scene. Emmett comments that he hasn't seen Brian. Mikey says that he's probably with Justin, since it's their "date night." Man, those two words usually mean there's some relationship problems going on. Ted yawns so audibly that we can hear it from our position on the other side of the club. Emmett asks if they're keeping Ted up. Dick Joke #1. I'm going to count them, because I do believe the count will be unbelievably high. Ted says that his job is making him exhausted. He's working all of the time. He says it's not the same as a 9-5 job. Emmett says that it all comes with being a success. Ted complains that he hasn't had much time to enjoy his success. Mikey tells Ted he just needs something to keep his eyelids open. "Like him," Emmett offers. It's a pretty blond boy in a tiny t-shirt standing off to the side, waiting for his cue line. Ted scoffs at Emmett's suggestion, knowing when a "Norse God" is out of his league. He doesn't look that different from Blake, Ted. You probably could get him...as long as he's a desperate junkie. Mike tells Ted he'll never know unless he tries. Ted decides he's too tired to care and walks over to the boy.

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Queer as Folk U.S.

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