Disco church! Brian sits in the empty hall watching Reverend Buttfuck. He tells the reverend he just came in for a few moments of silent prayer. The reverend says he doesn't want to disturb Brian. Brian, of course, just keeps talking, telling him that his mother recently discovered that Brian's gay and thinks that he's going to hell. The reverend says that's a problem. Brian says his mom doesn't know that her minister is also gay, and that her son's fucked him already. Brian walks up to the minister, reminding Butterfield that Brian had him on all fours, squealing like a pig. The reverend says this isn't the time or the place to discuss the way Butterfield takes it up the ass. Butterfield says that Brian's pain has nothing to do with him or the church. It's about Brian's relationship with his mother. He tells Brian that he's spent time with her, talking to her, offering her comfort. He says he teaches love, and truth, and not that homosexuals are going to hell. He says that if Brian needs to betray Butterfield, he can, but Butterfield knows who he's answering to, and it's not Brian. He concludes, "Now get the fuck out of my church." The ground splits in half and swallows us all whole.
Brian asks Gus which piece of "whimsical fiction" he'd prefer: Grimm's Fairy Tales or the Bible. Lindsay asks him to not hold Gus while he's struck by lightning. Brian says that the Bible's just a book, and now the world's killing itself over it. Brian threatens to tell his mother that her minister is gay. Lindsay asks why he'd want to destroy the one thing Mrs. Kinney's got left.
Debbie asks Vic if she made enough food. Yikes! Scary statues! Scary statues! Big cats with giant black eyes! Vic tells Debbie to relax. Debbie's nervous because Mikey's bringing home a guy for the first time ever, which means this guy must be the one. I don't know why Debbie hasn't asked Mike whom he's bringing over yet. It's not like her to let anything be a surprise. "Wouldn't it be a kicker if Brian walked through that door?" Vic asks. Wow, that came from nowhere, didn't it? Debbie tells Vic to get his meds adjusted. Mike and Ben show up. Ben's back is turned, so Debbie doesn't see him right away, but once she does, it gets all quiet as she tries not to scream and cry right in front of him. Ben gives her flowers. Debbie and Vic are completely breathless. Sharon Gless needs to run a few laps if walking from the kitchen to the living room leaves her without breath. She pets the flowers for a little while, and eventually Vic invites Ben and Mikey back into the house.