Brian sits in a pew beside his mother. She's praying. "For my soul?" Brian asks. She tells him that he's always in her prayers. "What a pal," he says. What an asshole. He takes off his jacket and plops beside her. She tries to ignore him, but she can't, because he keeps coughing. Mrs. Kinney unclasps her hands and sits back beside him. She asks what Brian wants. He says he thinks this would be the perfect setting to tell her what he thinks she needs to hear. Brian's mom says she hopes he's come looking for salvation. "Not exactly," Brian smiles. "It's the only salvation there is," she says. Brian asks about the Salvation Army. His mother only shakes her head and tells Brian that he thinks he's so clever and so much better than everyone else. Brian tells his mother to save it for her "fag-free afterlife." Brian's mom moans that Brian's mocking her faith, and mocking God. She says Brian's no different than his father was. He used to mock her, too. Calling her a saint. "Said I was as stone cold as one," Mrs. Kinney adds. Brian laughs. She says it's hard to love a man who hasn't said a kind word to her in years. Mr. Kinney didn't care about his family. He didn't even want Brian to be born. She says Brian doesn't know that she had to put up with abuse, and let herself get hit so Brian wouldn't get hit. "I don't want to hear that," Brian says. "No. Of course not," his mother says. "You couldn't be bothered. You never could. Because you're selfish." Brian says he's not. His mom says that he is. She can't depend on him at all. She says there's someone she can depend on no matter what. Brian asks if it's Reverend Tom. "God," she answers. "God will always be there for me. God will never let me down. Who can you say that about?" Brian has no answer.
Debbie is politely listening to small talk, but her wiggling ankle's giving her away. Ben's saying that his mother couldn't just join P-Flag -- she had to be the chapter president. Vic says that sounds familiar. Mike says they have a lot in common. Debbie stands up and announces that she's hungry. She leaves the room.
Butt shot on Mikey as he walks into the kitchen and asks Debbie if she needs any help. She quickly says she doesn't. "Ben's awesome, isn't he?" Mike asks. "Awesome," Debbie answers angrily. "Where's my goddamn cheese grater?" She starts grinding cheese as Mike says he likes Ben a lot. Debbie says she likes him, too. He's charming, smart, and good-looking. She just doesn't like him for Michael. She stops panting, throws down the cheese, and pounces on Mikey like a cobra. She's pissed off that Michael ambushed her with Ben, not warning her that he was coming when he knew how she felt about him. Mike says he doesn't need her permission. Debbie says it's still her house, and in her house he still has to say, "Mother may I." Michael says he loves Ben, and that's the reality, and Debbie will just have to live with it.