Poor Vic. They're making him wax nostalgic about his youth again. He's talking with Ben about places he loved in New York. Debbie sits quietly at the head of the table. Finally she asks Ben how long he's been positive. Michael gives a "Mother?" Debbie says she'd like to know. Ben says he's okay with her questions, and tells her he's been positive for five years. Debbie asks his T-Cell count. It's six hundred. She asks if he's ever been hospitalized. Ben knocks wood that he hasn't, and gives a quick glance to Vic, who's staring straight ahead. Debbie asks about his viral load (it's undetectable) and if he's on the cocktail (anti-virals). Mike asks what the fuck Debbie thinks she's doing. "This is the reality, sweetheart," she says calmly to Michael. "And you're just gonna have to live with it." Ben seems pretty satisfied with the conversation, even though Michael's still uncomfortable. Debbie passes Ben the garlic bread. He takes it with a smile.
Babylon. Men douse themselves with bottles of water. Emmett and Ted walk out on the dance floor. Emmett says he's glad Ted's not letting his dick get him down. "I wish something would get it down," Ted says. Dick Joke #11. Thor walks up and apologizes for missing his date with Ted the other night. Ted asks how Thor's dog is. Thor says that it turns out his dog had eaten a pair of Thor's shorts: "Caused her tummy great distress." Emmett says the same thing happens to him. Thor asks Ted if he'd like to have sex right now. "He's up for it, all right," Emmett laughs, rounding out Joke #12, and Ted leaves with Thor. Emmett dances in a very sexy, very fun way.
In the back, Thor grabs Ted's crotch and is amazed at how ready to go Ted is. He goes to his knees and pulls down Ted's pants. Ted leans back happily. Just as Ted groans, Thor gets upset. "It's going down," Thor pouts, as he strokes Ted's ass. Ted realizes that he's finally, finally gone soft, and starts shouting with glee that his dick's soft. "You made my dick soft!" he cries. Thor's embarrassed, and asks Ted not to broadcast it all over the back room, which is exactly what Ted does. He screams, "It's soft!" about a zillion times as he runs out of the room. Thanks, Thor. Thor pouts and runs away to that land where Bad Canadian Bit Part Players sit and wait for more bad television roles.
Ben and Michael go back to Ben's place. Mike apologizes for Ben having to get the "Spanish inqueersition." Bah-dum-bum. Ben says that Debbie's just trying to protect her son. Mike says he doesn't need Debbie to protect him. Ben says those are things that Mike needs to know. Ben's in good shape right now, but he can't promise that he always will be. Mike says he wants to live in the now and doesn't care what anyone else says or feels. He cares about how he feels. Michael and Ben kiss without tongue. Ben takes off his shirt. Hal Sparks starts counting one hundred dollar bills in his head as he takes off his own shirt and pecks at Ben's neck and shoulders. Ben lies back on the bed as Mike unwraps a condom. Ben tells him that he needs Mike to be "very sure." Michael smiles and says he is. He puts the condom on Ben and they roll over. Ben takes Michael's leg over his shoulder. Michael pants and looks a bit surprised. They kiss. Then it gets all blurry and it's really hard to see the gay sex. Come on! Focus! Focus! Dammit, don't focus on the Buddha! Bastards.