Brian's sister's a Bad Canadian Actress. ["I was about to defend Canadian actors, but I know what you mean, and you're right -- you really can spot 'em a mile away." -- Wing Chun] She's also got two Brat Kids from Hell. They fight and bicker around Brian's expensive apartment. The kids break something, and Brian's sister screams, "I told you two to behave!" The kids start calling each other "homo" and "faggot" and no parental authority figure does anything to stop it or reprimand them. Hate starts in the home, y'all. Brian tells the kids to sit down and shut up. He threatens to ruin their testicles. Brian's sister bitches and moans about all the stuff she does for their mother. Mom doesn't appreciate that Brian's sister drives Mom around and keeps her company. One of the brats picks up Brian's pack of cigarettes and pretends to smoke one. Brian suggests that his sister kills their mom. The sister gives a badly acted eye-roll. Brian says that she wouldn't be convicted by any jury since they all have mothers of their own. Brian's sister says she's got a better idea: Brian can take care of Mom for a while. Apparently, Mom's drinking has gotten worse since "Daddy" died. Brian's sister tells Brian to drive Mom to church, the store, to get her hair done. "Fuck that shit," Brian says, ignoring the fact that there are children present. They just giggle at the potty mouth until Brian's sister slaps one on the back and shouts, "Shut up!" She yells at Brian that she can't just be stuck with their mother. She slips back into her Canadian accent to tell Brian that he's always gotten off "scot-free." She tells Brian to help her out, and threatens to dump Mom off into his permanent care. Bad Canadian Actress snarfs and collects her savage kids. She yells and snaps at them as they moan. How hard is it to act like a whining kid? These kids are struggling with it, though. I think the older one just stole one of Brian's salt shakers.
Back in Pornland, Ted's expanded (tee hee) his business to include four different video images at once. Emmett's just getting off work (literally) wearing a hardhat and a tool belt. He makes a joke about having played most of the Village People already. It's not just that the joke's lame -- Ted's completely asleep. I think the guy having sex in the monitor behind Ted might just be Blake. Ted complains about all the invoices and payroll he's having to do. He's so tired, that poor rich Ted. Emmett's too busy playing with his nipple to listen to the number-talk-blah-blah monologue Ted's going through. Ted yawns and complains that he's supposed to meet "Thor the impaler" tonight, and now he's way too tired to get anything up. Emmett reminds Ted that he's in "the Biz," and tosses him a bottle of prescription medicine. It's Viagra. Ted hands it back and tells Emmett that he hasn't really had a "winning score" when it comes to drugs. Emmett says that normally he would agree with Ted since, you know, coma and all, but if Ted doesn't take the Viagra, they can't all make dumb dick jokes for the next fifty minutes. Emmett says that Viagra's made for eighty-year-old men, and if they can fuck like they're thirty, Ted should be able to fuck like he's eighty. He reminds Ted that it only lasts for a few hours anyway. Ted keeps the Viagra.