Debbie brings a slice of cake over to Mike, who's sitting on the swing. Mike grouses, "You know, white flour and white sugar are about the worst thing you can put in your body." Whatever. It's a birthday party. Eat your goddamn cake. Debbie kills time -- and me -- by shoving a slice in her mouth, and then stands around saying nothing for a few seconds. What is up with the pacing this season? She finally reminisces that Mike had his first birthday party thirty years ago, just like this one, including the swing set. And? Debbie finally sets Mike up with the line, "Some things never change." Mike mopes that she's wrong: "Things change a lot. And if you don't change with them, you get left behind." Mike feels like he's right back where he started, and everybody else has moved on. I'm sorry? Like who? Who's changed? No one, that's who. We covered this last week, remember? Mike goes on to say that he feels lost. Debbie sighs that he's not lost: "You're just full of shit." She smacks Mike lightly on the cheek and adds, "You're only lost if you're alone. You are surrounded by people who love you. You're gonna find your way."
Back at the party, Brian's Lesbians are helping Gus open his presents. They pull out a big yellow whiffle bat, and Lindsay crows to Brian, "Your son's going to be a baseball player!" Brian snaps, "Yeah, well, if you make a man out of him, I'm going to hold you personally responsible." But guess what happens? Can you guess what telegraphed-from- a-mile-away, heavy-handed, anvillicious event occurs? I'm sorely tempted not to even tell you. Fine. Okay. Justin's memory of prom night is triggered when he sees the phallic gender-specific toy. He starts to shake. He starts to wince. He starts to cower. Brian throws his arms around Justin in comfort, and Justin hangs on.
Later that evening, Melanie and Lindsay tear down the decorations. Mel asks Lindsay what she plans to do for Gus's second birthday, since this one went so well. St. L. snerks, "Leave town and stick you with it." Melanie laughs, and then awkwardly continues that the backyard would be perfect for a wedding. But the chuppah (which, for some reason, closed captioning insists on spelling as "chupeh" ["both spellings seem to be accepted" -- Wing Chun]) would look better by the rose bushes. Lindsay thought they weren't going to talk about it anymore. Melanie says that the little redhead made her change her mind. Redheads will do that to you. Especially after a couple of drinks. But I digress. Melanie realized that Gus would one day ask them the same question, and then he'd want to know why not, and then Melanie would have to answer that "straight people won't let" them. She says that that wouldn't be the whole truth, though: "We wouldn't give ourselves permission." Melanie gets down on one knee and proposes. Lindsay's touched, but tries to play it off. She's going to have to think it over. For about a second. And then she screams "yes!" and jumps into Melanie's arms. Melanie picks her up twirls her around, as they both laugh with glee.













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