The Happy Fun Backyard. As the unbelievably adorable Gus watches from his stroller, his mom and dad struggle to build him a swing set. Brian's about ready to give up. Lindsay wishes that Melanie were there: "She's a whiz with the hardware." Yes. I'm sure. Brian thinks they should hire someone to do it, but Lindsay's like, no way: "It's your duty as a father to build your son's first swing set. Now get cracking -- I want it ready in time for his first birthday." Gus gazes at them with vague interest. Brian snerks, "I know -- it seems like only yesterday I was jacking off into that cup." Lindsay laughs, "And you and Michael and Justin were tearing into the room. You couldn't believe you had a son." Brian mutters, "Two sons." Lindsay lets the unfortunate and ill-considered metaphor pass, and asks why Brian doesn't just call Jennifer. Brian replies that Jennifer doesn't want him to see Justin again. Lindsay's like, well, if you talked to her...but Brian says that it's better this way. Brian and Lindsay continue to struggle with the swing, until Brian groans, "Maybe I'll have it built in time for your wedding." Lindsay frowns that Mel turned her down. Brian finds this hysterically funny; after Lindsay curses him out, he asks why Mel said no. Lindsay sighs, "Well, for reasons you would appreciate. 'I don't think a meaningless heterosexual ritual would prove our love, and it wouldn't be legal anyway.'" Brian says that's hard to argue with. Lindsay snaps, "I was on the debate team. I can argue anything." Okey dokey, so why didn't you ? And I'm still confused; I rewound the tape, and St. L.'s wearing a gold band on her left ring finger. No commitment ceremony tied to that or anything? Just passing by Tiffany's one day, saw it in the window, and thought it was pretty? Anyway. Brian agrees with Mel on this one: "Fuck weddings. Fuck rituals. And fuck this swing set!" Lindsay giggles.
At The Big Q, Tracy gives Mike a big hug, so I guess things didn't work at the Dollar Mart, or wherever. Tracy asks why he came back. Mike says that he and the Demon hath gone their separate ways. Tracy's real sorry. I'm not. Andrew, Mike's old nemesis, appears. Tracy tells Andrew that Mike moved back to Pittsburgh. Andrew sneers, "No kidding. I must have missed it on the news." He then orders Tracy to get back to work. Andrew's all, so things didn't work out, huh? Mike goes into full-length ass kissing: "I wouldn't say that. Sometimes you've got to try new things. Discover what's right for you. Find out where you really belong. And I discovered what's right for me is being here." Andrew, arms folded, isn't really buying it. Mike says that he was hoping to get his old job back. Andrew snickers like, yeah, keep hoping, I've got your old job! Mwa ha ha! Mike nods, oh, well, let me know if you hear of anything else, wouldja? Andrew nods, and then the light bulb blinks on: "Well, we do have a position for which I think you would be ideally suited. Assistant Manager." Directly under Andrew. Run!













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