Queer as Folk U.S.
All Better Now

Episode Report Card
Camper: B- | Grade It Now!
Well, It Was Better Than Last Week's

Mike and Emmett's. Mike has his pants pulled down just low enough to allow us to see his butt in the mirror behind him. His behind is covered with red marks, and Mike pouts, "It was awful -- all those dirty old men, staring at me and pinching my ass." Ted's in the room with them, a pillow strategically adjusted over his lap. Emmett, putting lotion on Mike's behind, crows, "It was fabulous! All those dirty old men staring at me and pinching my ass!" Ted snorts, "Welcome to Point-Counterpoint." Emmett shrugs off the bruises and reminds Mike that they made $500 apiece. Mike asks Ted how much that is after taxes. Ted's like, how the hell should I know? You're an accountant, Eeyore. Ted pouts that he was an accountant. Emmett sighs, "Well, it's clear to me what you have to do." Ted growls, "How to open a milk carton isn't clear to you." Well, someone's cranky. On Emmett's look, Ted backs down and asks for Emmett's suggestion. Emmett suggests that Ted sue The Shaft. Now Ted has to repeat what Melanie said about the lack of anti-discrimination laws for homosexuals. Just in case we forgot...about the lazy writing, that is. Emmett finishes salving Mike's butt, and gleefully pulls down his own pants for his turn. Ted says that first he's going to confront The Shaft about treating him so unfairly. Then he's going to beg for his job back. Mike thinks that's a good idea, but Emmett gasps, "What type of pussy boys are you? Where's your pride? Where's your self-respect? Where's your dignity?" Ted rolls his eyes. The phone rings, and Emmett answers it. When he hangs up, he informs his friends, "A wealthy client would like an attractive domestic to polish his silver." Mike snerks, "I hope your butt holds up." Emmett sighs that you can buy a lot of lotion with a hundred dollars an hour, so, "I'm off to buff in the buff!" Ted snorts, "So much for dignity."

At the loft, Brian, Justin, and Daphne roll up the carpet, push away the furniture, and start the healing process. Hi, Daphne! Daphne explains to Justin how the night started; She and Justin were dancing to the song she's now playing on the stereo. Brian came in, wearing a tux, with the White Scarf of Unmentionable Dysfunction wrapped around his neck. There are flashbacks to prom night as she's talking. Justin thinks he remembers that, sort of. Daphne says Brian looked great. And then Daphne prompts Brian to say what he told her, which was, "You look hot, Daphne. I'd fuck you." Daphne giggles. Daphne continues that Brian and Justin went to the middle of the dance floor as "Save the Last Dance" started to play. Brian tells Justin to close his eyes in order to help him remember. They dance a little bit, but nothing's happening. Justin is amazed that they actually danced to this song -- this song that never fails to put a lump in my throat every time I hear it. This song that Justin calls "corny" and "old." Grrr. Brian laughs and says that he prefers to think of it as "ridiculously romantic." Daphne glows that Justin and Brian had the whole floor to themselves. Brian adds that they did some "pretty fancy moves," and there's a flashback to Brian twirling Justin around on the dance floor. Daphne says that everyone was shocked: "It was so cool. And when you guys kissed, it was so hot." Justin's all pleased, like, you kissed me? In front of everybody? Brian replies, "Yeah. You should have been there." Aww. I'm not made of stone. I'm not.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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