The Big Q. Tracy and Mike are on their way out of the store; she asks how his first day back went. Mike sighs that it was like he never left, and Tracy giggles, "I know what you mean. Working at the Big Q kind of spoils you for anything else." They run into Andrew, who orders Mike to stay for another shift because the assistant manager who's supposed to be on duty called in sick. Mike explains that he just finished a ten-hour shift. Andrew pulls rank and asks if Mike has a problem: "Because I'd hate to think I hired an assistant manager who's refusing to do the job." Mike agrees to stay. Before Andrew slithers off, he pats Mike on the shoulder and welcomes him back. What a tool. Tracy says that she can call her boyfriend and cancel dinner: "He needs to lose a few pounds anyway." Does he, now? Surprise! Mike tells her to go ahead without him, even though no one's said why she can't go to dinner anyway, or why she would even stay with Mike, instead. Or anything.
The Parking Lot of Violent Homophobia. Brian explains to Justin what happened next. He's having a little bit of trouble getting through it, and Justin looks completely uncomfortable. Brian says that after he got back in the Jeep, Justin turned around and smiled: "And then I knew why Debbie calls you 'Sunshine.'" Warm fuzzies! It was sweet, okay? Leave me alone. Brian continues that he saw Hobbes in the rearview mirror, and we're treated to the sound of a bat hitting Justin's head again. At that point, Brian starts to lose it, and desperately asks Justin if he remembers anything at all. He doesn't. But noticing what a difficult time Brian's having, he goes over and starts to pat him awkwardly. "I wish I could remember," Justin says. Brian nods, "I wish I could forget."
Wertshafter and Co. Ted enters The Shaft's office, carrying a box of all his stuff. Wertshafter demands to know what Ted's still doing there. I guess math is no longer an essential part of accounting. Ted explains that, uh, he came to pick up the rest of his stuff, and he also wanted to speak with his former boss. The Shaft turns back to the computer, but lets Ted talk. Ted nervously starts that he's been a loyal employee for quite some time. Wertshafter's aware, and tells him, sadly, how long Ted's been there, down to the day. Ted's surprised by that, but goes on to say that his firing was "unreasonable and unfair, for such a minor infraction. I'm sure if it was one of the others, you would have looked the other way. The only difference is because I'm, I'm...." He can't even get it out. The Shaft has to clarify that Ted thinks it's because he's gay, and sighs, "You gays. Every time something happens, you think it's about discrimination. Well, this isn't about discrimination, this is about company policy. Anyone found using the internet for reasons other than business purposes will be dismissed forthwith. You're lucky I didn't charge you for the time you spent online." Exactly. Having been schooled, Ted tries to slink out of there as quickly as possible. The Shaft calls him back in, and asks Ted if he's "happy" being an accountant: "Does it make your heart beat faster?" Ted has to reply honestly, and admit that it doesn't. The Shaft shrugs, "Then I'm doing you a favor. Find something you have a passion for. Otherwise, you're just jerking yourself off." So to speak. Ba dum bump! What? They can do it but I can't?