Debbie's house. Debbie's trying to sneak down the stairs -- wig firmly in place -- determined to go to work. Vic jumps out, blocks the door, and tells her to get back upstairs. Debbie yells at him to move: "If I have to watch Martha Stewart make another goddamn thing out of goat cheese, I'm gonna kill myself!" I find Martha Stewart fascinating, like a car wreck. And her unauthorized biography, Just Desserts, is a hoot. Big Camper Thumbs Up. Cruella DeVil lives, y'all; she just dyed her hair. ["Dude, don't slag Martha, okay? She rules." -- Wing Chun] Vic informs Debbie that AMC is having a Joan Crawford festival all week. Debbie snorts, "No one's that gay." The GM/SGWC's Gay Man Contingent goes 50/50 on that one. They start debating the merits of a Madonna film festival versus a Joan Crawford one, when Debbie sidesteps Vic and runs to the door. Vic tries to pull her back. Mike walks in, all casual. The Straight Girl Contingent gets into the discussion -- if it was just Evita over and over for a whole week, at least then we could all drool over Che together. I'm about to snort that no one's that attracted to Antonio Banderas, but I realize that I am, actually. Debbie asks Mike what he's doing there, and Mike tells her that Vic called him over to help keep her at home: "He wanted me to bring some rope and help tie you down." Okay, but use it wisely -- you only have just enough to hang yourself with! Debbie gives up and offers Mike some eggs: "I've got to do something with my hands." Mike tells her that he's up for a promotion, and even if he doesn't get it, he's going to be making some "changes." Vic, worried: "You're not going straight, are you?" Vic has good instincts. Mike ignores him, and tells Debbie that he knows how hard she works, and he never does anything to help. Debbie protests that that's not true, but Mike tells her to stay home and try to get some rest. And in case you're wondering, we decided to show The Mask of Zorro at the next GM/SGWC meeting. You're invited, but you have to bring the popcorn.