First of all, I'd like to give a shout-out to my GayRef, Terry, who just moved to the "Motherland" a few days ago. Lock up your boyfriends, San Francisco, TJ's in town. You've been warned.
This Week's Host: Eric Stoltz. It's like having an old friend drop by unexpectedly. Hi, Eric! I missed him. Where has he been? ["He's currently in The House of Mirth with Gillian 'Scully' Anderson." -- Wing Chun] Looks pretty yummy, too. Only problem: The people who write the intro are definitely not the ones that wrote the show; Eric refers to Studs and Suds as a "drag contest," which it wasn't. Have to give him credit though; in describing "The War over Michael," he manages to ask, "Who comes out on top?" with a straight face. Cracked my shit up!
So, it's the end of Michael's shift at the Big Q, and Mike's cleaning out his locker. He greets his co-worker Andrew, who's bought a bunch of stuffed animals for his kid's birthday. Andrew's grateful that the store gives employees such a great discount, and Mike snorts, yeah, otherwise Andrew could go broke. Andrew continues that it's why he wants "that job" -- their boss, Bob Barbarosa, is getting bumped up to State District Manager, and he gets to choose his replacement for store manager. Andrew's put his name into the ring. Michael wishes him luck, and leaves. Huh. I thought Michael was already the store manager. I guess he's a shift leader or something. Anyway, Mike's walking out of the back when Tracy -- a.k.a. "SOL" -- pops up in front of him, nearly giving me a heart attack. She's still cheerful as all hell, and tells Michael that he's totally qualified for the manager job, and he should go for it. Could she be touching him more? Poor SOL. At end of her little pep talk, she crows, "If you want to get ahead, you have to do a little ass-kissing, like Andrew. And something tells me you can kiss ass with the best of them!" Right. Secretly, she knows. How could she not know?
Babylon! The Boys plus Justin exit the club. Emmett's wearing an extravagant blue '70s leather jacket and pants ensemble, but everything's a little too small on him, like he mugged a midget pimp on the way over. Justin's fronting for the older guys, laughing about his father's plans to send him to military school. He and Brian are being awfully touchy-feely with each other through this whole scene. Emmett says that he always wanted to go to military school, for the uniforms. Ted adds the benefits of "taking orders. Getting punished when you're naughty," prompting Emmett to bend over and lisp, "Yes, sir. Sorry, Sir!" while the others playfully whack his behind. They all laugh, and then laugh even harder at Brian's rental car. Brian sighs, "And just think, I have to get another car tomorrow." Mike asks if it's going to be another "fuck-mobile," while Emmett, kissing the back of Justin's neck, smirks that Brian needs all the help he can get "in order to keep attracting those pretty young things." Brian releases Justin from Emmett's hold, and pulls Justin against him. Huh? Where is this coming from? I know they had sex last week, but that never stopped Brian from treating him like shit before. Ted lectures that maybe Brian should get something more practical than the Jeep next time, and Mike adds, "You don't want any more weirdos ramming into you." Emmett snorts: "Never heard him complain about that before." And you probably never will again, either. Emmett, Ted, and Mike leave Brian and Justin kissing at the car. Justin goes around to other side of the car to get in. All of a sudden, Craig "Mad Dad" Taylor taps Brian on the shoulder, calls him a "fucking pervert," sucker-punches him, and then starts kicking him in the chest. Justin screams at his father to stop, and pulls Craig off Brian. Drama! The Boys, alerted by Justin's cries, run back and pick Brian up off the street, and then have to restrain him from ripping out Craig's throat. Mad Dad throws down an ultimatum: Justin comes home with him now, or he doesn't come home ever again. Brian throws the Boys off of him, cursing. Justin, shocked, pauses for a second before choosing "never again." Crying, he screams, "Never again!" a couple more times before Brian gently tells him to knock it off. Justin wanders off, in a daze, to the opposite side of the alley.