Michael and Justin staple Rage posters to walls of buildings. Justin is suddenly distracted when he hears the scratchy fiddles of his adulterous theme song. Is it possible that only Justin can hear Ethan? Maybe Ethan isn't really there at all. Justin licks his lip and tells Michael that they'd poster much faster if they split up. He says he'll go do the other side of the street. "Good idea," Michael says, wondering if he's going to change his name or keep it once Ben dies and Justin goes away. Michael Kinney. It sounds just as good as it always has to him.
Justin runs right up to Ethan. They stand way too close. Ethan says that business is slow, but that one devoted fan has shown up. "Thanks," Justin smiles. That's not a compliment. Besides, Ethan was talking about Homeless Bertha, the trash can lady who dances to Ethan's music. Justin shows Ethan the Rage posters. He says he's hoping to sell enough to pay for tuition next year. I guess he's planning on charging a whole lot of dough for them. Ethan says, "Well, you never know. I hear the guys who did X-Men made a fortune." Really? You don't say. Ethan asks Justin if he wants to go get a latte. Justin says he has to finish postering. Oh, and he's out with his boyfriend's best friend. Ethan says that they could go see a movie later this week. He asks if Justin likes French films. "Never been to one," Justin smiles. Bullshit. Between Daphne and Emmett, Justin's surely seen an Amélie or two. Ethan calls Justin a peasant and says they'll go see Jules and Jim later this week. It's a movie about two men in love with the same woman, but since her name isn't in the title Ethan's pretty sure they're in love with each other. Justin gets all serious and says, "It's hard enough loving one person." Ethan adds that if you're the one that both are in love with, you get to break two hearts. And that's one to grow on. Justin and Ethan mug down as Michael watches from close by. Dunh-dun-DUHH!!!
Ted drowns his sorrows in a tiny drink. Brian walks over and asks Porn King what he's doing amidst the serfs. "Fuck off," Ted says. "Now, is that nice?" Brian asks. "Here I am actually giving you the time of day and all you can do is level a rather pedestrian curse at me." Brian starts to leave, but Ted asks him to stay. He offers Brian a drink. "Couple of Dewars!" Ted shouts to nobody. Ted tells Brian that the "unthinkable" has happened. Brian plays newscaster and suggests that perhaps Ted woke up this morning to find he'd been turned into a giant vagina. "Worse," Ted says. "I'm immune." "To penicillin?" Brian asks. "To clever literary references?" he tries again. "To porn!" Ted shouts. Oh, that is serious. Brian has to light a cigarette, it's so bad. Wait, no he doesn't. Just listens to Ted complain about how porn does absolutely nothing for him anymore. "Too much of a good thing," Brian offers, still not lighting his cigarette. He finally lights it as Ted says that he's seen all of his fantasies fulfilled, live and uncensored, right before his very eyes, over and over and over again. He says he might need to lay off for a while and give it a rest. Brian suggests that Ted stop watching and actually try having sex instead. He asks Ted what his most secret sexual fantasy is. Ted says he'll never tell Brian that. Brian starts to leave, telling Ted to live out the rest of his days in sexual purgatory. Ted pulls Brian back, takes a shot, and whispers his super-secret fantasy into Brian's ear, lest an errant waiter or we hear what they're discussing. "I may have seriously underestimated you, Theodore," Brian says.