Tonight's Guest Host: Bruce Davison. My own personal "Hey! It's That Guy!" Can never remember what I've seen him in, but a check of imdb.com shows that he, too, has gay creds: He starred as David in the 1990 movie Longtime Companion, about a group of friends dealing with the onset of the AIDS crisis. Whoever writes these "previouslys" really needs to...not: "In a spell of homophobic rage, Justin's dad smashes Brian's face, and gives Justin an ultimatum: Justin must come home now, or never again. Now, Pretty Boy Brian [that would make a great boxer's name] has to face the consequences of his relationship, as Justin's mom makes clear when she delivers the boy's clothes to Brian. On another front, Michael wants to snag a promotion at work, and the only way he thinks he can do it is to continue his charade, by bringing his 'lady' -- the poor, unsuspecting [and let's not forget Shit Out of Luck] Tracy -- who's beginning to think she's 'going with' Mikey, to the boss's party. Now, faced with responsibility for Justin, Brian is forced to become an adult, which is the last thing this Peter Pan wants. It turns out that Michael gets the gig, but was it worth lying about who he is? The truth is bound to come out sometime -- maybe this week, on Queer as Folk."
Yeah, well, at least these blurbs are short. There's a bright side to everything, I guess.
Mike and Emmett's place. Emmett's having cybersex. Sigh. He's like, naked, at a table, with a laptop computer, typing with his left hand, and masturbating with his right. He and "usemyhole27," the guy he's chatting with, both type really well with only one hand. I can't type that well with one hand, especially my left one. There's a towel by the laptop, too, so Emmett must have been a boy scout once. On a side note, Coop just walked up to me, read the above, and gleefully said, "Wow, I can't wait to tell everyone that my girlfriend writes porn." I corrected him -- I don't write porn, I recap porn. There's a difference. After everyone's come (cum? Ejaculated? I feel like Peter Jennings trying to get through the Monica Lewinsky scandal), usemyhole27 asks Emmett when the two of them are going to "hook up for real." Emmett's a little taken aback -- for real? He hastily escapes out of the chat room.
Liberty Avenue. At Woody's, The Boys are playing pool. Ted's taking his sweet time shooting the ball, going on and on about how pool is an exact science, or something. Brian and I are like, whatever, you freak, would you just shoot the ball?! Brian tries to get Mike to take over, but Mike has to meet Dr. Dave. Brian asks why Mike never meets him in the 'hood. Mike snorts, "Because he doesn't like my friends?" He's talking about you, Brian. Dr. Dave doesn't like you, you self-absorbed gum hoarder. Ted adds, smiling at Brian, "I don't like your friends." Me neither, except for Ted and Emmett. That leaves you, Brian. Brian asks if Dave has any friends. Before Mike can answer, Ted finally sinks a ball. Brian tells him not to get so excited, because Ted's playing stripes, and unfortunately, the ball is not. Mike says that of course Dave has friends! Mike's just never met them. Brian sneers that maybe David doesn't want Mike to meet them. Justin walks up with a drink in his hand. Emmett shakes his head and takes it away from him. Mike snaps at Brian, "Well, at least his friends are his own age." How would you know? Brian asks Justin what the hell he's doing at the bar: "I thought it was a school night." Justin points out that Brian's there. Brian: "I'm a grown-up." Justin shrugs, "Barely." Just doing my heart proud, that boy. Brian tells him to go home. Justin shakes his head, and mouths the word "no." Then he sticks a condom in this teeth, and waves bye-bye to The Boys. Justin's looking for his own fun. Good on ya, bunny. Mike gripes, "What is this, 'adopt-a-trick'?" Brian replies that it's only temporary. Mike: "What, until he grows up?" If Justin's on the same schedule as Brian, that could be awhile. Mike grumps off, Brian calling after him, "Tell the Doc we miss him." Yeah, uh huh. Sure thing.