Queer as Folk U.S.

Episode Report Card
Camper: B | 502 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Corners and Consequences

The Boys' Gym. The locker room is filled with Naked Men, and I'm only playing Ms. Obvious here because the camera spends like, thirty seconds showing all the Naked Men before settling on Mike, Ted, and Emmett, so I assume we're supposed to notice. Mike, Ted, and Emmett are not naked, because they never are. Mike wonders why David isn't cashing his checks. Ted thinks that David might be,"waiting until next quarter when he has less tax liability." Emmett: "Spoken like a true accountant." Whoops, I stand corrected. Emmett just flashed the goods. I guess since he's already gone fully frontal once before, it's okay. Brian says that maybe David was taking the checks to humor Mike. Um. Duh. Mike rolls his eyes: "Trust me, I'm not amused. I can pay my own way." Ted says that's "very noble." Emmett: "Yeah, and stupid. Michael, sweetie, it's every gay boy's dream to be a kept woman." Why is that, exactly? Never seen it lead to nothing but trouble before. Just then, TLFKAM storms into the locker room, to the consternation of all. Much yelping, "hey, hey, HEY!"-ing, and all that. TLFKAM growls, "What, you think I've never seen a dick before?" Ted, pulling up his pants: "Not mine!" Emmett calmly gestures to everyone, "It's okay, it's okay, she's a lesbian." All the naked men sigh in relief and continue wandering around naked. Ha! Mike asks what she's doing there; TLFKAM says that she took T&E's advice and went to see Lindsay, and then asks when Brian last saw Lindsay. Brian shrugs and says a couple of weeks ago. TLFKAM asks whether she mentioned a French guy living with her. Brian says no. TLFKAM storms, "When I went to see Lindsay, a fucking Frog answered the door...and when I asked to see Gus, he slammed the door in my face!" Ted: "Well, everybody knows the French are famous for éclairs, oral sex, and, rudeness." Whaddya know? So is TLFKAM. Well, maybe not so much with the baking. Emmett chirps, "I once had a date that involved all three." Brian gets his cell phone and, dialing Lindsay's number, says that maybe the French guy is a new babysitter. TLFKAM frowns, "From France?" Ted adds, "That's a little pricey on a teacher's salary." Okay, I hate it when they do stuff like this -- she didn't have to send to France to get him, obviously. Foreigners do sometimes immigrate to the States, but perhaps that was a stretch for TPTB, who, after all, took three-quarters of a season to find black people in Canada. You know, the end of the line for the Underground Railroad? TLFKAM wonders why St. L. hasn't said anything about it to anyone. Brian turns up his cell so that everyone can hear the voicemail message: it's Guillaume, saying, "Bonjour! You have reached Lindsay, Guillaume, and beautiful baby Gus. If you would like to leave us a message, kindly do so at the end of the beep." Brian: "'Us'?" Whoa-O, I feel a little of that old-time possessiveness coming on. Emmett says that Guillaume's "a little pushy for the help." Mike adds that it makes Lindsay and Guillaume sound like a couple. Ted: "Quelque chose isn't kosher." No, it's French. What the hell is he talking about? Yes, I know what it means. Still doesn't make any sense.

Queer as Folk U.S.

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