Queer as Folk U.S.
French Fried

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Camper: B- | Grade It Now!
Corners and Consequences

Brian, Lindsay, and "Gus" take a walk in the park. Lindsay admits that the marriage thing sounds a little crazy. Brian tells her that, if she needed help, she could have asked him. She says she appreciates it: "But I can't keep relying on you and [TLFKAM]. I have to take care of myself." How is it TLFKAM's helping out, exactly? Brian says that marrying Guillaume is a dumb idea. Lindsay: "If he were straight, he could meet someone, fall in love, and get married. But because he's gay, there's no way. And that's not fair." Brian smirks that she's starting to sound like the Lindsay he used to know: "The one, senior year of college, who turned into that scary political dyke?" Lindsay laughs, "Oh, her. The one who started a petition to make date rape punishable by castration? I even got you to sign." Brian: "You always were one for a worthy cause. Listen, [TLFKAM] and I have been thinking..." Lindsay's interrupts, "Did you actually say '[TLFKAM] and I'? Did you actually say that?! For years, I have struggled to get you two to be civil to each other, to sit in the same room together. Now, all of a sudden, you two are allies." Well, you know, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" and all. Cause it's his baby, okay? His. Brian can't look her in the eye. Lindsay snaps, "Well, I don't have time to worry about what my selfish, self-centered, narcissistic friends think, I have to worry about my son, and how I'm going to raise and support him. I have to think about what's best for him. So I think you all should just fuck off! I'm sure that's a thought you can understand."

St. James. The first official meeting of the Gay/Straight Student Alliance is not a roaring success, as Daphne tells Justin, "I thought more people would come. I mean, considering all the condoms we handed out." Justin: "Yeah, well, maybe they couldn't wait to use them." Debbie walks in and congratulates Justin on the turnout. So maybe it's all relative. Justin asks what she's doing there; she says she came by to drop off "cookies and moral support." She starts passing out cookies to the kids. Debbie: "My great-aunt Fay, who was in burlesque? Said you should never go on in front of a hungry audience." Justin says that they should get started. Debbie wishes them both luck. Justin tries to get everyone's attention, to no avail. Debbie whistles loudly, and that does it, so she takes a seat at the back of the class. Daphne recites a little speech she wrote welcoming everyone, until she's interrupted by one of the kids: "Isn't this supposed to be about sex?" I guess he missed the big sign on the blackboard that says, "Gay/Straight Student Alliance," unless he thought it was an offer. Justin says that sex is part of it, "but it's also about other things. Like how we see ourselves and each other." A girl in the front of the class groans, "Fuck this. Let's go." People start to leave, then all of a sudden, Justin screams, "Faggot! Cocksucker! Homo! Fudgepacker!" He's got everybody's attention, now. He continues, " These are just some of the names that I've been called, because I'm gay. I've also been told that I'm going to hell, and that I should die of AIDS. Maybe the same things have happened to you. That is why we are here -- to see if we can learn to accept our differences and recognize our similarities. Because gay or straight, we all want the same things." Dickson slams the door open and sighs, "All right, Taylor, that's enough!" Justin says that they were just having a meeting. Dickson asks him if he got permission from the principal? Permission to use the room? An advisor? Uh, no. Debbie jumps up and says that Justin has her. Dickson asks who she is. Debbie tells him, and asks who the hell he is. When he says he's a teacher, she replies, "We'll then, you'll be happy to hear that we're having a little educational program here, so why don't you sit down? You might learn something." Dickson accusingly whips out a condom and demands, "Is this part of your curriculum?!" Debbie: "You bet your ass it is." Dickson's had enough, and orders the students to leave immediately. One of them cheerfully tells Daphne to try again. Ah, the sweet smell of progress. Dickson slams back out the door, revealing Hobbes and another friend of his, smirking on the other side of the hallway. Aw, he showed up too late for the meeting! Probably not, huh? Justin and Daphne stew, stew, and stew.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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