David and Mike at Liberty Diner, upping my blood pressure. David tells Mike that he didn't cash Mike's checks because he doesn't need Mike's money. Ass. In the pre-school-teacher voice, David explains, "Michael, you know that the monthly expenses aren't really $300." Hate. Him. Michael says that of course he knows that: "But that's not the point. I want to contribute as much as I can." Set phasers on loathe, y'all: David replies, "And you do! You give me something much valuable than money. You give me your sweetness, your charm, your humor, your hot little bod. What's paying half the gas and electric compared to that, Mikey?" Does he fetch your slippers when you ask him to, too, David? Chase the ball you throw around the house? Mike scowls that he's not David's boy toy. David angrily replies, "I never thought of you that as my boy toy. Don't insult me!" Arrrghhh! KILL. The waiter brings over the check and Mike grabs it before David can. David looks at the check like it's his only link to salvation, then sighs, tiredly, "Okay. Whatever will make you happy. Whatever you want." Mike replies, "What would make me happy is if you stop paying for everything!" David says that, from now on, they'll only do things they can both afford. I smell a set-up. Mike jumps out of the booth, and David follows him, then sighs heavily, "There's only one thing." I knew it. David tells him, "Don't get mad, but you know that week you're taking off from work? I cleared it, too, and popped for a trip to Paris. First Class, Suite at the Georges V [which he pronounces "Georges Cinq," because he's a pretentious, domineering, ugh, ugh, ugh!], reservations at the finest restaurants." Mike is stunned, and says that sound fabulous. David continues, "I know, I know. It was the wrong thing to do. I'll cancel it tomorrow. And we'll just stay in. And rent a movie. Or two. And that will still be fun." And then he turns away from Mike, smirking slightly. What are the odds Mike's really going to turn that down, especially if it's in the guise of a gift, sitting right there in the middle of the Path of Least Resistance? Manipulative prick.
The Happy Fun House. TLFKAM rings the doorbell again. Lindsay opens the door, and it's not just TLFKAM (wearing a really odd white knit cap with a pompom on the top of it, which makes her look like a two-year-old, but not necessarily in a bad way), but Brian. And Ted. And Emmett. I'm going to assume that Ted and Emmett are there merely to say funny and sarcastic things that Brian and TLFKAM could never get away with, because otherwise, I have no idea why they came. Brian says that he hopes she doesn't mind them all dropping by like this. Lindsay nervously answers that they actually could have called first. TLFKAM, pulling off the hat and pushing past her: "We did. And got your message." Snicker. However. Not exactly sure what right she thinks she has to barge in, since this is really, actually, none of her business. And what's stopping her from still telling Lindsay how she feels? The Boys follow TLFKAM in, and Lindsay apprehensively closes the door behind them.