Robin Quivers is back. Wouldn't it have been great if Harvey had hosted the last one? And this is a little weird anyway, because Robin starts out, and then the Voice of QaF takes over. (I guess they just grabbed her last go-round and then edited it.) And fucks up again. I seriously don't think whoever writes the intro actually watches the show. Vic didn't get arrested for solicitation; he got arrested for indecent exposure. And they don't bother to remind us that Brian got turned down for that job, just that he was promised it. Robin ends, "Let's see if it all gets wrapped up on the next Queer as Folk." What gets wrapped up? Everything that was just mentioned already got wrapped up. You mean Michael moving to Portland? Woman, please. Oh, and by the way, Rosemary (would you post already, please?) wrote me to say that Mimi Rogers was in a Showtime show last year called Common Ground, about three generations of gay people in a small town, along with Steven Weber, Thea Gill, and Eric Stoltz, all previous hosts. Whew!
Wow. The last time I get to correct the intros. Excuse me a minute, I have to get a Kleenex; there seems to be something in my eye. Sniff!
And we open on Brian having sex with some guy, all lit in signature black and blue. Kind of gives "Blue Light Special" a different meaning, doesn't it? A bell dings. Cut to Brian having sex with yet another guy. Ding! Cut to Brian having sex with yet another guy, while that guy has sex with another guy. And just as I'm about to get up, go to the fridge, get a cider, and sit back down again, a little Brady Bunch-esque box appears in the middle of screen, with Brian having sex with different guys in the background. It's Mike, on the phone: "Have you seen Brian? I've been trying to reach him all day." Figures. Another Brady-esque box appears, and glides across the screen. It's Justin: "Me too. He hasn't returned any of my phone calls." "Any"? Figures. Lindsay gets a box, and hopes that Brian's all right. The "L." in St. L. stands for "love." Emmett pops in a box, and wonders what "the condemned man is doing during his final hours." Ted: "Doing penance?" Melanie: "Doing drugs?" Mike: "Doing as many guys as he can?" Ding! Lindsay grimaces that maybe they shouldn't go through with "this," since he made it clear he wanted no reminders. Everyone more or less laughs at her, except without actually laughing, so it's really just me laughing hysterically on the couch, which made it really hard to work the bottle opener. Ted calls "it" an "event of historic proportions, like the moon landing or the fall of Communism." Melanie: "It is our duty as his friends to commemorate it." Heh. She just said she was Brian's friend. Wow, what a little piece of paper and a legal fee will do, huh? Emmett: "And make sure he remembers it. Always." All the little boxes disappear, until there's just Brian, coming for a final time and falling over...well, whomever, in exhaustion. Desperation: the world's best aphrodisiac.