Brian, Lindsay, and Gus are at a clothing store. Lindsay coos that "it's so adorable that he asked you." I'm sorry, I'm still not getting why this relationship is okay with everyone. Brian's fucking an eighteen-year-old. How pathetic is that? Justin's obsessed with a thirty-year-old man. Um. Can I get an "ew" up in here? Please? Brian snorts, and Lindsay adds, "Despite the somewhat questionable differences in your ages, and that emotionally he's about twelve years your senior." No, seriously. Ew. Brian's like, no way josé, too old. Is talking about himself or Justin? Lindsay starts up with the "you're thirty, your life is falling apart" sarcastic shtick, but you know, if this were a heterosexual couple, it would still be gross. Brian pouts that it is the end of his life. The Drama Empress rises again. And again, mark my words. Lindsay Oprahs that it's a "whole new beginning. A whole new way of thinking about yourself. A whole new sense of entitlement. And accomplishment." Brian scowls, "That's from the La Jeunnesse anti-aging cream commercial. I wrote that fucking copy!" Oops. Lindsay winces, then recovers nicely, "Okay, well, I guess I only quote from the masters. But it's the truth." Yes, please, stroke Brian's ego some more. Lindsay says that she, herself, is looking forward to growing old: "I want wrinkles, I want gray hair, I want Gus to make me a grandmother. I want to grow old with Melanie." ["And that copy is almost verbatim from a TV spot for a chain of Canadian drug stores." -- Wing Chun] Brian says that he doesn't want any of that shit. At all. With a double helping of "not growing old with Melanie." Lindsay asks him what he does want, then. Brian eyes a gorgeous white pashmina scarf, and says, "This." St. L. is happy for him, and not confused, as I am. Maybe she saw the advisory warning. I didn't. But more on that later, too. Brian muses that maybe he should celebrate turning thirty and "give [himself] something very special." Nope. Didn't see that advisory warning at all. Lindsay's just happy that he's not whining anymore.
Demon's Lair. Michael's rummaging through the closet, and then asks Demon where his flannel shirt is. Demon cheerfully tells him that he packed it. Mikey panics, because now he doesn't have anything to wear to Emmett's party. Demon throws Michael one of his own flannel shirts to wear. Mike, frustrated, thanks him. Demon says it was too small for him anyway, so Mike can keep it. Mike grouses, barely audible, "I don't need your hand-me-downs. What I need is someone who listens to me." Demon sighs patronizingly and asks what's up. Mike whines that they haven't even talked about what he's going to do when they get to Portland. Demon shrugs and says, okay, let's discuss it now. As Demon buttons up Mike's shirt, Mike futzes that he's not sure if he wants to work at the Big Q in Portland; maybe he should go back to school...Demon interrupts him to gasp that he promised the people that are leasing the house that he would put the screen doors back in! And this needs to be taken care of right away! Mike says that he can do it, but Demon's all about taking care of it himself. Right now. So he runs down the stairs to do it. Mike's one big bundle of frustration, but without the hard-on.