Queer as Folk U.S.
Good Grief!

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Argh! My Eyes! My Eyes!

The Bowling Alley. Mike rushes up to Brian, who's wearing his dad's old bowling shirt, has The Ball, and is putting on his bowling shoes. Mike babbles that Brian's urgent message interrupted the Big Q's biggest sale of the year. Brian ignores him and says, "After your touching eulogy, I decided to come here and pay my respects to Jack Kinney...so what do you say we roll one for the old fuck?" Mike goes first. Gutterball. The mean heterosexual male bowlers in the next lane laugh. Actually, so did I. Brian clears his throat and says, "Herteros: One, Homos: Nothing." Mike's like, okay, can I go now? Nope, it's Brian's turn. He strides up to the alley in slow-mo, takes a sec with the ball, and, with perfect form, throws it down the lane. It's a strike. And the House of QaF gives it to us four times from four different angles, just so we're sure. A little confused about how many strikes Brian made, perhaps, but sure that he made them. One. Made one. We think. Mike jumps up and cheers. Brian raises his hands in triumph, and then makes obscene gestures with his crotch towards the derisive straight men, crowing, "That's right. The fucking fairies got a strike! The fucking fairies are jumping up and down! The fucking fairies are celebrating!" He grabs Mike, leans him back, and gives him a big kiss and then a hug.

Looks like Daphne has an after-school job at a music store, like all the cool kids do. I had an after-school job at a bookstore, like all the geeky kids do. I wanted to work in a comic-book store, because the guys that worked there were real cute. You know, for comic-book guys. I've got this thing for pretentious guys in glasses. Never mind. Anyway. Justin walks into the music store, and Daphne leans over the counter for a kiss. She's even happy with the kiss on the cheek Justin gives her, because she's lost her damn mind. She tells him to check out the new Pansy Division album. He says maybe next time. She says that she likes his shirt, and that it goes well with his eyes. He reminds her that she's seen the shirt a million times. Daphne says that she never noticed, but she does now. This is physically painful. Justin's like, yeah, okay, we need to talk. He was going to send her an email (!), but the he thought he'd come talk to her in person. Daphne invites him to come over to her house after she gets off work, since her parents won't be home. Justin nixes that idea real quick. He says that he just wants her to understand that just because they had sex one time, it doesn't mean that they're going out. But Justin, that's not what you said a couple of months ago about Brian! Daphne rolls her eyes and replies that she knows that! Justin points out that she's been calling him eight times a day. Daphne doesn't think so. Justin: "You're right. It was eleven; I'm counting three hang-ups." Ouch. Justin adds that the card was a bit much, too: "'Friendship is the highest form of love'?" He snickers a little, too. Hypocrisy is the highest form of being a pain in the ass, Justin. Daphne shrinks and says that she gets it, already; there's no need to humiliate her more: "I guess when you've slept as many guys as you have, I'm sure that's all it was -- just another fuck!" "Just another fuck." Why does that sound familiar? Ah, yes, because Justin accused Brian of thinking of him the same way. Justin says he didn't say that, and besides which, he hasn't slept with that many guys. Daphne refuses to talk about it anymore! Justin sticks the knife in a little further, continuing, "I was doing you a favor! That's all it was. That's all it was meant to be. Now, you've totally gotten weird, which we agreed would not happen." Daphne snaps that she's not the one that got weird. Yes, you are. I have to agree with Justin on this one. This was a bad idea, but Daphne's totally the one who freaked out afterwards, understandable or not. Daphne says, completely off the subject, that ever since Justin met Brian, he's becoming a different person, going off to bars and clubs, etc., and she feels like she doesn't even know Justin any more: "You've just become this full-time homosexual." Might be because he is a full-time homosexual, who, you know, doesn't really like girls. Justin's mouth drops open in shock. Again. Still. Close your mouth, Justin.

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Queer as Folk U.S.

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