Queer as Folk U.S.
Good Grief!

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Argh! My Eyes! My Eyes!

Enter Blake. Just bounces in, nice as you please. Ted freezes. And swears. Emmett says that Ted was bound to see him eventually. Small town. Ted's like, why, why did it have to be tonight?! Ted wonders whether he should apologize. Emmett replies, "No, you should answer this: Lenny or Squiggy?" Ew. Death. Definitely death. In order to avoid answering, Ted leaps up and walks over to Blake. Blake apprehensively tells him that he doesn't have his money. Ted replies that he found his wallet. Blake congratulates him. Ted says he feels horrible, and he knows Blake is going through a tough time: "But if you need anything -- a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on, an objective eye..." Blake: "How about throwing in an arm and a leg?" Ted snorts, nodding, "That, too." He shrugs and leaves. Blake thoughtfully looks after him.

The House that Dysfunction Built. Brian goes through his dad's closet and pulls out a suit. It's the suit his father's going to be buried in: "Worn out and dreary, just like him." Mike, also in the room, asks whether Brian should run it by his sister first. Brian shakes his head; it'll just make her sister cry. Again. Mike frowns, "Well, at least she's expressing how she feels." Brian says that she's just milking it for attention. Jealous? Mike snaps that he shouldn't be so cynical. Brian sighs, "Claire is a cunt. Dad couldn't stand her. Her husband couldn't stand her. Her fucking kids can't stand her." Brian says that since his sister is beside herself, he's had to take charge of the arrangements. Mike offers to help. Brian hands him a tie rack and tells him, "See if you can find [one] that's not too offensive, if that's possible." Mrs. Kinney walks in, and the temperature drops a few degrees. She calls Brian's name and he nearly snaps her head off. Regally raising an eyebrow, she asks, "Packets or sugarcubes?" Huh? Folding her arms, she continues, "We're going to have a houseful of guests, I don't know what people prefer." And Brian does? Brian assures her that no one's going to care. Mrs. Kinney just looks annoyed, and seriously -- take it from someone who's had a little experience with this -- Mrs. Kinney totally acts, and looks, like someone who feels she married far beneath herself. Mike helpfully adds that Debbie always says that people prefer the packets at the diner, because it gives them a choice of how much sugar to use. And he, like, reverts to a twelve-year-old when he says it. Mrs. Kinney cuts him off to ask how Debbie is. Mike's hands get all twisty on the tie rack as he replies that Debbie's fine, thanks so very much for asking, Mrs. Kinney, ma'am. Mrs. Kinney: "She was always such a...character. Please remember to thank her for the [wincing in order to jog her memory] sandwich platter." "Character"? I'm sorry, did she just more or less insult Mike's mother to his face? Mike lets it pass, and says that he'll tell Debbie, and that he's real sorry for her loss. Losing patience, she cuts Mike off again to thank him, so that she can move on to more important matters. Jesus Christ. She tells Brian that if he sees anything he wants, he should take it. She's already called Goodwill for a pick-up the next day. Brian doesn't seem too surprised, but remarks that it's pretty quick. Mrs. Kinney mutters, "Well, I don't like to see things lying around -- you know that." My God, and I complained when Jack called her "The Warden." Brian finds his father's bowling ball, causing his mother to comment bitterly, "Your father spent more weekends with that than he did with me." Can't imagine why. Brian looks up like he's thinking, "Sold!" All his, baby. The Ice Queen nods and sighs, "Packets, right. Glad that's decided." And leaves. Mike, still twisting the tie rack, says that he forgot what it was like at Brian's. Brian replies by saying that's why he was always at Mike's.

Ted's. Blake hesitantly knocks on the door. Blake looks older every time we see him. It's obviously pretty late; when Ted opens the door, he's got a serious case of bedhead. Blake doesn't say "hi" or anything, just launches in: "A guy threw up on my bed." Basically, at whatever hellhole Blake is currently staying, someone more drugged-out than Blake is barfed on his sleeping bag. Ted says that's horrible. Blake says he can't stay there anymore. Ted says he doesn't blame him. Blake asks, since Ted offered him...well, anything, if he could stay with him for a while. Ted invites him in. Blake asks whether he's sure. Ted says that he can stay for a couple of nights, or whatever. He asks where Blake's stuff is; Blake holds up a backpack. Ted chuckles, "Well, it's always good to travel light." Blake assures Ted that he's clean; Ted assures him that he believes him. Then they more or less jump on each other to the point where I feared for the safety of their teeth. Coming up for air, Ted tries to cool it down, "Let's not...rush into this. I mean, we both need time to, uh...process how we feel." Right. He tries to mutter some more stuff about responsibility, but Blake's standing there looking all cute and cute and really cute and stuff, so Ted ends up jumping him again, as the aria from La Traviata plays in the background...

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Queer as Folk U.S.

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