Apparently, it's Brian's day to humor the fuckwittage of others, because he's at the Happy Fun House. Watching Lindsay try on her wedding dress. I'd like to call it karmic justice, but I'm still trying to figure out why I have to suffer, too. The dress is butt-ugly. It looks like something her mother wore at her shotgun wedding thirty years ago. Don't they sell Vera Wang rip-offs in Pittsburgh? St. L. asks Brian what he thinks; Brian says she looks like a movie. "A horror movie," he adds. Word. Lindsay shrugs, "Guillaume still has to fit it for me. He's great with a needle and thread." That's not what Brian meant, I think. Brian snorts, "Is there anything he can't do?" Lindsay: "Charm my friends." Brian replies that he didn't know Guillaume was trying. Guillaume breezes in with a bunch of boxes. Brian sneers, "Well, if it isn't Coco Chanel." Guillaume: "Company. Aren't we lucky?" Lindsay asks Guillaume what he thinks of the dress. "Gui" replies that it needs some work, but that he'll take care of it. Then the baby starts crying. Brian says that he'll get him, but Guillaume steps in front of him: "That's okay. He's used to me." He's used to Brian, too, Mr. Dead Man Walking. Nice knowing you. Not. Brian snorts, and asks Lindsay what Guillaume will be wearing. St. L. tells him that Guillaume will be sporting a conservative black tux, because it has to look real. Brian growls that this is all a farce. Lindsay tells him not to lose his temper. Brian: "Why not? You've lost your mind." Lindsay changes the subject -- sort of -- and says that she never thought she'd see herself in a wedding dress: "Although I've often dreamed of being a bride. It's true. Even dykes can't escape that fantasy." Is it okay if I don't care? Thanks. Brian: "Only, you're marrying the wrong person." Lindsay says that Brian never asked her. Shudder. Brian meant TLFKAM. Lindsay reminds him that they live in Pittsburgh, "not Vermont. And at any rate, it's too late. [TLFKAM] and I are finished." Then what was that mini-reconciliation bit last week? Brian replies that TLFKAM doesn't think they're finished: "In fact, the only thing she thinks about is you. She blames herself for everything." Lindsay: "Well, she's wrong. Because it's me. Because I pushed her away. Why would you push away someone you love?" Sigh. I don't know, but it's going around. Guillaume comes back in, apologizing for taking so long, "[Gus] is being...very fussy." Guillaume suggests that they get to work on the gown. I suggest that they burn it and start over. It's that ugly, folks. And there's no cure for cancer.