Queer as Folk U.S.
How TLFKAM Got Her Name Back

Episode Report Card
Camper: B- | 1 USERS: A
It Was A Pain to Type Anyway

St. James. Justin and Daphne (yay! Daphne!) walk into school, as Daphne gripes that every club gets to meet at school except theirs. And it's not fair! Justin shrugs, "Welcome to the world, Daphne. Nobody cares about a Gay/Straight Alliance." The members of the Gay Man/Straight Girl World Coalition beg to differ, thank you very much. Daphne says that people showed up; Justin points out that it was, like, eight people, and that they only came because he and Daphne handed out condoms. Justin and Daphne round the corner right inside the building, and lo and behold, someone has set Justin's locker on fire and scrawled, "Fags die" on it in blood red. Someone off-screen helpfully yells, "Stupid faggot. You like that, fag? Stick that in your ass, faggot." I hate people. Justin tries to open the locker, but burns his hand. The same off-screen guy again snarls, "You deserve it. Burn, fag." Oh, someone is sooo getting their butt handed to them for this.

Meanwhile, Brian, Emmett, and Ted stroll down an unnamed Pittsburgh arrondissement. Emmett and Ted are making fun of Mini-D's airs the night before. Ted: "Sur la Seine. I nearly choked on my pâté." Brian defends his best friend: "He's just dazzled. Give him a couple of days at Le Grand Q-Mart. He'll come back down to earth." Ted mopes that ever since Mini-D started hanging out with Demon, he has this "new life." Yes. Which you encouraged him to pursue. Emmett pouts that even though they lived together for two years, he hardly ever sees his old roomie anymore. Let's take a trip in the way-back machine a couple of eps. Direct quote from Emmett: "It is every gay boy's dream to be a kept woman." So quit your complaining. Ted adds that they have to beg Mini-D to come out to the bars, and Brian frowns, "and he won't fucking return my calls."

Emmett stops them both in the street and gasps, "Oh. My. God." Directly in front of them is a gold Miata. Ted wonders who would drive a gold Miata. Brian wonders who would drive a gold Miata with the top down. Emmett wonders who would drive a gold Miata with the top down in the middle of winter. The idiot in question steps out of a dry cleaner's across the street and walks up to the car. It's Mini-D. He asks them how they like the car. Demon bought it for him. Mini-D shows them the license plate, which reads, "CP ASTRO." Brian, cautiously: "That's cute." Sort of like, "President Bush." But neither is cute, really, unless you get warm fuzzies from the upending of the universe as we know it. Mini-D babbles, "What do you think of the color? I was worried that the gold might be a tad showy." Ted: "No, you wouldn't want that." Jealous, much? Remember, you told Mini-D not to let money get between him and Dr. Demon. I think Mini-D's about as close to Demon's money as he can get. Brian frowns, and tells Mini-D that he called him that morning, but that Mini-D didn't call him back. Mini-D picks a ticket off the Miata and replies that he's been really busy. Emmett asks whether he wants to go to the gym with them, but Mini-D can't because he's meeting David at "their" sports club. Brian, who looks like he's had just about enough of this shit, invites Mini-D to go with them to Woody's. Mini-D: "Sorry, no can do. We have reservations at Pappagano with Bobo and Melisande." Emmett snickers that with names like that, they sound like a couple of drag queens. Mini-D, in his best Demon-like, condescending throat-clearing voice, informs them that Bobo is "their" broker. Brian's done. Mini-D's cell phone rings, and he answers it with a cheerful, "Hi, honey!" Arrrrgggghhh! Okay. Demon's gone at the end of the season, right? I only have what, four episodes left off this crap, right?! I can survive four more episodes. Of course, I might have to go into rehab afterwards, but maybe I can get a book deal out of it. Or meet Matthew Perry. There's a bright side to everything. No, wait. I have a boyfriend. Meeting Matthew Perry won't do me any good. Dammit! I hate Dr. Demon! Mini-D tells them that it's David, just in case they didn't notice the smoke and sulfur smell rising up out of the phone. Mini-D tells his master that he picked up his suits, and he just needs to stop by the caterer on his way home. Emmett asks if they're having a party. Mini-D stammers that it's just a couple of "David's" friends. See, they're Demon's friends now that Mini-D's about to screw The Boys over. Mini-D hurriedly scrambles into the Miata and says his goodbyes.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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