Woody's. Debbie walks in, wearing a leopard-print muumuu and carrying a yellow handbag. Vic is dressed like a normal human being who lives his life un-cursed by the fashion fairy. They spot Mike and Ted at a table and amble over. Mike rolls his eyes when he realizes that his mother has once again invaded what passes for his private life. Vic snerks, "Excuse me, but I believe these seats are reserved for the living." Mike whines, do Vic and Debbie really have to sit with Mike and Ted? Debbie growls, "Well, I don't see a sign here that says, 'Reserved for Brian.'" Does it say it's reserved for you? Debbie knows that Mike isn't comfortable hanging out in gay bars with her (No shit. I mean, really, can you imagine?), but if he meets someone nice, hey, he doesn't have to bring the guy home because she can meet him right there! She and Vic think this is hysterical. They would. Mike says he's not going to meet anyone. Debbie says damn straight he's not, not sitting around there moping! (Yeah, I'm not going to be happy until this recap has more exclamation points than this month's issue of Teen Beat. I suggest you learn to live with it, 'cause I'm on a roll!) Debbie exhorts them to go dancing, or go get laid, or something! Ted snorts, "What kind of mindless pallative is that for existensial angst?" Debbie's all, huh? It's Ted's turn to roll his eyes. Vic replies that it's a damn good one, actually: "Before you guys turn around, you're going to be our age." Debbie mutters, "Don't remind me." Vic continues, "So you need to go out and grab a little life." Debbie adds, "Not to mention a little ass!" Ted sighs that he did see an invitation on one of his porno sites for a B.B. party. Debbie asks what a B.B. party is. Wouldn't she know? Teddy says it stands for "body builders." Debbie groans that she's always had a thing for "hard pecs and rippled abs." Mike shakes his head, "God, Mom. You are such a fag." Jealous? Vic tells the younger men to hop to it and go, go, go!
The B.B. Party. Ted and Mike walk into an apartment, looking like the geekiest guys in the whole wide world. The apartment is bathed in a red, low light. Ted gets an offer, but stutters that he wants to get a drink, first. He and Mike walk into the living room, where's there's a full-on orgy taking place. Couples. Groups. None of which look especially buff. Not as non-buff as Mike and Teddy, but still. Our Boys are getting increasingly uncomfortable. Ted says, "Boy, if Brian only knew what he was missing!" Mike snorts, "Fuck Brian." You wish. Still. Always. Yawn. He and Ted wander around some more until Ted gasps, "Oh, my God, do you know who that is?" He points. It's Howard Bellwether. Mike frowns that he doesn't have a really good body. Ted says of course he doesn't; he's a writer. Mike then notices that no one at the orgy has a really good body. Mike then notices, hang on a sec, nobody's wearing condoms, either. Which means that "B.B."? Stands for "barebacking." Yeah, that's just...eww. Ted and Mike, thorougly grossed out, tiptoe out of the room.