Liberty Diner. Justin tries to place a glass of water on Mike's table, but ends up spilling most of it. Mike helps him wipe up the mess as Debbie observes them from the counter. She puts on a smiley face and walks over, telling Justin to keep up the good work. She gives him a kiss on the cheek and calls him "mother's little helper." Mike, probably jealous, grouses that "'Mother's Little Helper' is Valium. That's from a Rolling Stones song." Debbie snaps, "I know the song, thank you, I was listening to it before you were fucking born!" Justin grins, "Ancient history." Way to break up the sibling rivalry, there, Deb. Justin leaves, and Debbie contemplates her grouchy son. "Okay," she asks, "what did he do this time?" Mike pretends that he doesn't know who "he" is. Deb's like, who is "he " always? Mike confesses that Brian ditched him the night before. Debbie sighs, "I'm biting my tongue so hard, I'm tasting blood." Mike snaps at her to just come out with it, already. Debbie asks why Mike's happiness always depends on someone else: "First Brian, then [Demon], and now back to Brian." Hello? Wasn't she the one who encouraged Mike to go after The Chiropractor From Hell so he wouldn't be chasing Brian all his life? And now she's pissed? Debbie growls, "If you came back here because you thought Brian was missing you as much as you were missing him, you fucked up, big-time." Mike says that's not the reason. Debbie says that Brian has a life of his own: "Which is more than I can say about you." Look. Who's. Talking. She continues, "And even though you're not going to like me saying it -- " and Mike's pretty sure he isn't -- "I think he might actually love this kid. As much as he can." Mike proclaims that none of that matters. He and Brian are still friends, and they were supposed to stay that way.
Emmett walks down Liberty Avenue with Ted and Mike, and confesses about the Blair incident. Emmett feels like he's destroyed B and Bs' relationship. Eleven years of monogamy, down the drain, 'cause of him. Mike comforts him by saying that no one does anything they don't want to do: "This Blair sounds like no angel." Emmett insists that he's to blame. Ted agrees, "It wouldn't have happened if you could keep your mind off of sex long enough to think of something else." Like what, pray tell, oh hairy-palmed one? Ted says there are museums, and, and books! And luckily, they're right in front of a bookstore. He asks if either of them would like to join him. Mike snorts, "You keep your hero; I'll stick to Captain Astro." Ted shrugs and goes into the store. Emmett's still moping, wondering how he can ever face his employers again. What would he say? Mike suggests that he not say anything. Or do anything. And not to let it happen again!