Debbie is standing at Divina's hotel door. She says she'd never in a million years recognize him. AAAAAGGGGGGGGGGUHHHH!!! No wig, just scary makeup and tiny dagger nails. Red robe. I'm crying again. Divina says that thirty years is a long time. "Try thirty-one," Debbie laughs. "But who's counting?" Divina invites her in and asks if she'd like a drink. Debbie giggles and says she doesn't need one.

Debbie enters breathlessly and says with much class, "Gah, you got more shit than I do!" Divina says it takes longer these days to look fabulous. Debbie starts going through Divina's jewelry. "Is this real?" she cackles. "Honey, I wish," Divina says. She asks Debbie how she's doing. "My Divina," she purrs. Turns out that was her nickname for Debbie. Divina gives Debbie a recap on her own life and then asks Debbie why she never told her that she had a son. I'm gonna have to switch to a masculine pronoun soon. He of the scary makeup. The dialogue here is so fucking crappy that Days of Our Lives went, "Whatever. Get to the point, gabby! Oh, you're his long-lost drag queen father? Couldn't have guessed that forty minutes ago!" Heeeeeeeee. The sentence is actually this: "Only at first I couldn't figure out who it was. Then when I discovered you were his mother I realized. I was looking at myself. In a mirror. Through time. Why? Didn't you? Ever! Tell me?" Worst. Episode. Ever. Debbie tells him that he'd already left town: "Run off to the big city to be a big star!" Oh, for fuck's sake. Debbie asks if she was just supposed to call him up, tell him he was a father, and demand that he come back to marry her. He says it must have taken a lot of courage for her to decide to have Michael and raise him on her own. "It was the easiest decision I ever made," Debbie says sagely. Divina wraps his robe around him like there's a chill, and asks who Michael thinks his father is. Debbie says it was a soldier who died in Vietnam. She picked his name out of the paper and changed her own name to match. Divina says she went through a lot of trouble to make sure Michael never found out. "I wanted him to have a hero," Debbie says. Ouch. "And I could never be that," Divina says. Why, because he's gay? It might have made Michael understand himself better. Debbie says, "It wasn't so much that you were gay, Danny." Except that it was. "I always kind of suspected. In fact, that's probably why I liked you. It's that you lied to me." Oh, this is such bullshit. Divina tells Debbie she wasn't the only one he lied to. "I lied to myself as well. I wanted to be something I wasn't." I can't believe she won't let Michael know his real father because he's gay. I can't take thisAfterschool crap anymore. "And he sure as hell didn't need to know his dad was a drag queen," Debbie says. So much for P-FLAG. Debbie's mad that Michael's figured out all the lies. She's worried that he'll never believe her again. Since she's a liar. She tells Divina to lie to Michael some more and not get to meet his biological son. Fucking bullshit, is what it is. I hope she can't sleep at night.