Deborah Jane Grassi
AMB: Celebrate New Year's in every time zone!
P.D.: Celebrate every New Year's right here in the Pitt.
P.P.: Dishonest People.
P.S.: "S***, all my sayings have swears in them."
ACT: Yearbook, S.C. rep., Spirit Club, Parties, Parties, Parties

That's our little Debbie. Ben asks to see what Divina looked like. Michael flips the yearbook to a tiny black-and-white picture of Hal Sparks in glasses and a dumb shirt. God, can't we do a bit of Photoshopping? Even a little? And also, how could Debbie not know that this guy was gay?

Danny Devore [No middle name, please. That takes too much character development.]
AMB: Broadway Superstar
P.D.: NYC Cab Driver
P.P.: Stage Fright
P.S.: "Begone!"
ACT: Variety Show, Choir, Concert Band, Prom Committee, Spirit Club

Ben says the Divina looks pretty cute. "If you have a thing for dweebs," Michael pouts.

Strip club. Gary the creepy strip-club owner is doing "paperwork" that involves headshots and stacks of hundred-dollar bills. Justin coughs some attention and tells Gary that he was sent to talk to him about a job. Gary asks if Justin's ever danced professionally. Justin says he hasn't, but that he dances at the club all the time. Who dances at a strip club on the floor? Gary ignores Justin and asks him what makes him so special. Justin says he was King of Babylon. "Who wasn't?" Gary asks. He tells Justin there's no room at the inn. He tells Justin he's too busy right now. Justin stands there for a long time and then eventually walks away as the word "Horny" spins in a circle in the background.

Cut to naked Justin feet walking back along the bar. He stops over Gary. "One dance, that's all. If I suck, you can kick my ass out." Gary says that Justin doesn't have much of a body. Justin says he has a great ass and he's blond: "You have no idea how far that gets me." Gary is amused, for some reason, and lets Justin dance in his tighty-whities over Gary's head. Justin's so thin that it looks like a fourteen-year-old is dancing over Gary's stare. And the underwear isn't too flattering. Get him something smaller. This underwear shot brought to you by Levi's.