Cut to Justin dancing over Brian's head. Same outfit. Brian's apartment. Brian stops the music and tells Justin not to step on his Chinese food. Justin says Gary told Justin he'd be pulling $200 to $300 a night. Brian says that'd better be all Justin's pulling. Brian reminds Justin that he'll have homework to do as well. Justin asks what will happen if he neglects his schoolwork. Brian says he'll have to spank Justin. Justin laughs and dares Brian to try. Brian pulls Justin over his knees, pulls down his underwear, and spanks him. Justin's enjoying it until Mel and Lindz just walk right into the apartment. Does nobody hear the service elevator when it goes up? Brian says he'll have to remember to start locking his front door (in a very 1993 punchline: "Note to self"). Brian offers food to the girls as they talk about him like he's not in the room. Mel says that asking Brian to do something is pointless. Brian asks what's going on. Lindsay tells Brian she wants him to be her husband. "You already have one," he tells her. Seems that there's another interview at a new school, and they don't want Gus to get turned down because he has two mommies. The ladies are ready to sacrifice their principles to get Gus into a discriminatory school even though they were told that same-sex parents were welcome at the last school. I don't understand. Brian says, "Fuck that shit." Mel calls Brian a heterophobe. Justin agrees with Mel, neglecting to add that he's a heterophobe as well. Brian agrees that he is. Lindsay says she'd never ask Brian to compromise his values (except that she is because they are). Lindsay says it's not lying if they make you lie. She asks if Brian wants Gus to have the same advantages as all the other kids. Brian stirs his food.
Michael's grilling Vic as Vic pretends to read a magazine. Michael wants to know how long Debbie and Divina went out. Vic says he can't remember how long, whether it was serious, or if they were in love. He says it was a long time ago and that Michael should ask Debbie himself. At this point, Debbie walks in. Michael tries to ask, but Debbie's defensive. Michael's accusatory, asking why he looks so much like Divina. Debbie says Divina and Michael look nothing alike. Michael makes Debbie put her reading glasses on and check again. She does (she keeps them in her bra, by the way) and says she still sees no resemblance. She makes Vic lie and say that the picture of Hal Sparks in glasses looks nothing like Hal Sparks without glasses. Michael says they have the same eyes, nose, mouth, and chin. Debbie says she doesn't see it and that she's an expert on chins, since she has so many of them. Michael says he just wants to know the truth. Vic stands to excuse himself, but Debbie won't let him. Michael goes on about when he was born and when Divina left town and for Pete's sake we all get it already. Debbie scoffs. "Are you asking me if some old drag queen that I once knew in high school is your father?" YES. Debbie holds up a picture of John Michael Navotny and says that this is Michael's dad. He was a lieutenant in the army. Died in Vietnam, 1970, two weeks after Michael was born. Michael knows the story. He repeats it along with Debbie. Hey, who here thought Michael was totally kidding when he was making that videotape personals ad and said this bit about his dad? Michael says he's been told this story a million times, but that the guy in the frame looks nothing like him, and Michael knows nothing else about this guy who's supposed to be his dad. Michael asks who his grandparents are. Debbie says they're dead. Oh, that's it? Doesn't need to know more and never asked this before? He asks about aunts and uncles. Debbie says there aren't any. "So he's just a war hero?" Debbie's all, "'Just'!? They awarded him the purple heart!" She says he was on a rescue mission, carving his way through the jungle when a landmine exploded. Michael says she'd said it was a Jeep accident. Debbie says he was carving his way in a Jeep when it ran over a landmine. Can we stop this insanity now, please? Michael screams, she screams, Vic says this was all a long time ago and it doesn't matter now. Doesn't matter? It doesn't matter who his father is or how he might have died? Michael asks for the truth. Debbie spits that she's not a liar. She wanders out of the room, tottering back and forth.