Queer as Folk U.S.
It's Because I'm Gay, Right?

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | Grade It Now!
I Have My Daddy's Tits

The production values on this show are worse than my third-grade Brownies tribute to the month of February. Brian and Justin sit in front of the saddest greenscreen in the land discussing Justin's money woes. Justin doesn't want Brian to pay for his school. I guess this is the one thing Brian doesn't get to pay. Justin's flattered that Brian wants to take care of him, but he wants to fix this problem on his own. He says he'll get another job, apply for a scholarship, and get more money on his own. There's an exterior shot of the Jeep, and for a second it's confusing because there's nobody in the passenger seat, which would mean that Brian's talking to himself, and that he's hallucinated Justin all this time. Maybe this whole Justin thing is just a dream. Maybe Brian's got A Beautiful Cock. Justin's so happy Brian has money that he pulls off his seatbelt and gives Brian a blowjob at a red light. The close-up is too close and we can see that Justin isn't sucking on anything, even though his hand is moving. The man in the car next to Brian watches. Brian watches him back. Brian revs his engine.

Hee. The Angels Over Pittsburgh sign looks like an ad for Weight Gainer 2000. "Who the fuck wants to see some worn-out old drag queen, anyway?" Ted asks. Are they allowed to keep repeating lines over and over? Emmett says they'll find somebody else. Michael says something that Ben always says. Ted makes fun of Ben. Michael throws food at Ted's face. Oh, before I forget, thanks to all of you who sent me thank-you e-cards for saving you from the bad writing. That was really nice of you, and unexpected. I'm doing it again in this scene, but you don't have to send anything. Now I do it because I love you. I love you more than Cowlip will ever love you. I hope you remember that. Somebody let Vic out of his Novotny prison. They've also decided he can be a short-order chef again. Also, he just now gained the power of hearing, and finally hears the words "Divina Devore." Michael tells Vic again what he must have just heard. "She always was a selfish prick," Vic says. Emmett asks Vic how he knows Divina. Turns out Vic and Divina went to school together, back when Divina was "Danny Devore." Ted immediately uses his friends and tells Michael that he should ask Divina again, but mention Vic this time as a "personal connection." Emmett drones, "I thought you didn't even want her." Ted says that was before he found out she was a friend of the family. In what episode will people sit Ted down and tell him that he's become a very creepy man? Vic says that Divina probably wouldn't remember him anyway.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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