Ted kisses Michael as a payment for getting Divina to sign on. Brian says he can't believe Debbie dated a drag queen. He wonders how anyone could tell them apart. "At least now we know who taught her how to do her hair," Emmett says. Brian tells Michael that this makes Debbie officially the biggest fag hag of all time. Debbie walks up all smiles, oblivious to the fact that they're all slapping "With Special Guest: Divina" stickers all over the diner. Brian lays it on her that Michael chatted with Divina recently, and that they found out that Debbie and Divina used to date. Debbie is shocked, angry, and grumpy. She says that Divina had no right to talk to Michael about Debbie's personal life. It was a million years ago. Really? Because I think Michael's only thirty. Oh, am I ruining something? Why is this taking so fucking long?
Naked dancing boys. Come to me. Yesssss. Thank you. Naked dancing boys make all the bad writing go away. No writing or dialogue for naked dancing boys. Just flesh. Sweet, toned flesh. Good flesh. Good music. Pumping. Good. Yes. Just forty more minutes of this, please. Please. Please.
Dammit. Justin sticks a dollar in the g-string of a dancing boy. Brian snaps a dollar out of a different stripper's g-string. Pretty sure not even Brian Kinney's allowed to swipe money from a stripper. Brian hands the cash back to Justin and reminds him that he's saving up for school. Justin's bummed, drinking his nine-dollar vodka tonic at a strip club, damning his fabulously expensive nightlife and the curse of needing so many expensive clothes. Ugh, there's some dirty money close to that man's penis. Brian asks if Justin found a job. Justin says he tried twenty restaurants and nobody's hiring. One day of job hunting and he's finished? Welcome to the real world, Justin. Where Monster.com makes you think there are jobs out there only to find out that there's nothing nowhere, anywhere. Justin says the financial aid office told him that Justin's father makes too much money to get aid. Don't I know that story. They don't care if your parents aren't giving you any money. Brian says his offer still stands. "So does my answer," Justin says. A stripper asks Brian and Justin to help him down from the table. "See?" Brian asks. "Some people know how to accept help." Justin and I roll our eyes at the same time. Justin watches the stripper pull money out of his crotch. Justin hands him another dollar and comments that it looks like he had a good night. The stripper says it's nothing compared to the weekend. You know how strippers love to count their money in front of the customers. Justin asks if they're looking for more dancers. "Gary's always looking," the stripper smiles. Brian and Justin are quiet, thinking. Brian walks away.