The Steam Room. Naked men wander around, dick shots abound, etc. Ted and Emmett peer around the corner to stare at O'Tool. Emmett whispers, "Didn't I tell you that he was even bigger in person? It's huge." Ted agrees that it's "gargantuan." Emmett crows that it's just what Ted's looking for. They sit down on either side of Zack. Zack asks what they want. Emmett tries to explain about Ted's site, but Zack isn't interested. Emmett tries to get Zack through his loyalty to his fans. Zack's still not interested. Ted, who can't stop staring at Zack's crotch, gives it a shot: "What better to plug your new picture?" Zack snorts, "Whacking off on the web is for amateurs, boys." Emmett announces that they'll give him a thousand bucks, and a limousine, champagne and, uh, his own personal fluffer. Ted stage-whispers to Emmett that this will cost a fortune. Emmett snaps, "Would you rather lose one?" Good point. Besides which, I think Emmett's willing to save you some money on the fluffer. Ted finishes, "So, Zack, how would you like to share your member with our members?"
Brian drives Mike to Carnegie Mellon in the most popular vehicle in West Hollywood. Mike mutters, "Sexy, perfect body, aloof, desirable, yet unattainable." Brian grins, "Okay, that's enough about me." Yawn. Mike gripes that he was talking about the Silver Surfer, anyway, and that his speech sucks. Brian asks why he's giving it, then. Mike admits that the professor's hot. Brian's interest is piqued. Mike warns him to back off, because he saw The Babe first! Besides which, Mike reminds him, Brian's living with Justin. Brian snorts, "He's living with me." Mike shrugs, "Either way, you're all comfy and cozy. Except when you're fucking other guys." Brian snaps that who he fucks isn't any of Mike's business. Or Justin's, for that matter. When they pull up to the school, Mike panics, and tells Brian to forget about it and drive away. Brian reminds Mike that he's the one who made a commitment, so he's got to go through with it. O! The Irony. Whiny Pouty Boy whines and pouts that he's going to make a fool out of himself. Brian snarls, "Who gives a shit -- it's fucking college!" Yeah; if they're not sneering at you, they'll just be sneering at someone else. At least you'll get to look at Ben while they're doing it. Brian adds, "Now, go show the frat boys what real men are made of, and get me some phone numbers while you're at it." Mike rolls his eyes and gets out of the car.